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"We are almost there!" - Williams essay

Cermi 4 / 12  
Dec 24, 2009   #1
Imagine looking through a window at any environment that is particularly significant to you. Reflect on the scene, paying close attention to the relation between what you are seeing and why it is meaningful to you. Please limit your statement to 300 words.

"We are almost there!"

Totally pointless information for all of us in the bus, as we were already impatiently looking through windows to catch the first sight of our beloved camping site. Once again it was the second Saturday of July and we were returning to our small meadow in the middle of the forest beneath the castle of Lipnice. Unlike most people who have no emotional connection to their camping site, we were very fond of this place, probably because it was our 10th anniversary Scout camp on this very spot.

Almost all members of our Scout Group had already been there, some of us (including me) had even been to all nine previous camps, there were only several rookies, just like every year. We, veterans, had so many memories connected to that place - our first camp, the Cub Scout and later the Scout promise, countless campfires, games, competitions etc. - that we could hardly wait to get out and see it again. We all wanted to know whether it had changed or how much water was in "our" quarry. And of course, everyone wanted to pick the best spot for his tent. However, it was not the same as before, although not everyone knew. We did not tell the kids, but it was our last camp at that place.

At last, we were there! As I was watching the kids get out of the bus, I promised myself to do my best to make this last camp unforgettable for all of us.

I am sure there wil be some typos and wrong words, but what do you think about it? I took the prompt rather loosely, hope it's not a problem...
Wanderer_x 5 / 88  
Dec 24, 2009   #2
Well, I did not get what you are trying to say. Why is that event significant to you? Just mentioning that the camp was the last one does not make it significant enough. You ought to be creative and reflect more on the scene. It sounds more like a page of your journal.
Ekooo 1 / 3  
Dec 24, 2009   #3
I think I'm going to agree with Wanderer_x. Keep in mind that colleges and universities what to get to know you so insight into what makes you, you, beyond what the prompt specifically asks for is needed.
OP Cermi 4 / 12  
Dec 25, 2009   #4
Thanks for your comments, I'll try to do something about it. It's difficult for me, as I'm neither native English-speaker, nor a good writer and these college essays are killing me.

I have already changed it, putting it "forward in time", shortening and then putting more stress on that, why it is important for me.

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