1. Provide an example of how one of your activities has served to benefit a community in which you are involved. If appropriate, briefly describe this community. (Limit 200 words)
At Spring Water UMC, anyone can come together to worship God. However, that "anyone" is somewhat restricted, because all members of the church are suffering from illness, detached from their families, and deprived of hope. They had been leading such harsh lives that they could not afford to enjoy or think for themselves. Isolated from the mainstream of the society, they only looked for the help of the church, of pastor, of God.
Some time after I met the pastor of this church, I began to play the piano for their services each Sunday. They were delighted by the sound of music, and the worship of God, their only hope. For the first time in my life, I saw a pure enjoyment and love in their eyes. Even though I could not play the piano in the most professional manner, I was glad to feel the appreciation, because it filled me with joy. I learned that I could bring happiness to others through my yet-imperfect skills. In some sense, I needed this community as much as this community needed me. This experience led me to commiserate with them and appreciate their gratitude.
2. What are your academic and professional goals and ambitions for college and beyond?
Since my freshman year, I have dreamed of becoming a pharmacist or pharmaceutical researcher. The dream seemed like a perfect match with my propensity for chemistry. At the same time, I began to learn more about the realities of life around the globe: countless people suffer from a lack of basic medical and pharmaceutical care. As I become more acquainted with the situation of helpless people, I became part of CARE International, a club at my school. The goal of CARE is to help women around the world, especially those who are suffering from immediate threats, such as the genocide in Darfur. Our goal is achievable only with further scientific developments what will enable us to reach the most remote corners of the earth. My goal is to participate in making this goal a reality by providing others with proper medicines and food.
Upon researching, I realized that becoming a pharmacist is a demanding process including at least six more years of extensive schooling. However, I know that my experience and perseverance will shape me to be that person - a pharmacist who can suffer with patients through hard times, and who strives for something more than prescribing medicines.
Hello,
I need help with diction, grammar and contents.
Do you think the answers show who I am? I just don't want it to be a mere anedote-like essay...
thank you so much for your help!
Good evening :)
I think the first piece is great as it is; I wouldn't change anything.
The second piece is great as well, but there are a couple of spots that could use some polishing. First, if you are going to talk about the CARE program, make sure you explain it a little more in detail. For example, exactly what is the "help" that you provide to these women? Second, how does that organization directly tie into your career choice? A little more explanation is necessary here.
Great work!
Regards,
Gloria
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