The apocalypse, or judgment day - Help For essay sample Northwest University

Hi everyone !
I am applying for Northwestern university and they r asking me to write a sample.

It has to be based on a story, for example a real incident, a popular tale or an anecdote, and then i have to develop it into a discussion of an issue related to our contemporary world.

It has to be coherant, organized, with good arguments

I have an idea but im not sure about it.

For the story, I am thinking about the apocalypse, or judgment day. All those stories about the end of the world.

Then, i want to develop that introduction into the environment problems. We know that someday, somehow, the end of the world will come, it was proven scientifically.

The core of my essay will be that this situation leaves us with the question of the human being's existence. Even tho we have made significant progress in the technologies, in the science; even tho we have a religion, all of these creations made by the human kind will vanish like we never existed.

then, for a second part, i will talk about how the human being can win against the Nature with his intelligence, refering to the proverb of Blaise Pascal : Nature is stronger than mankind but mankind is stronger than Nature in the fact that it knows that it is weaker than Nature

I will be talking about the actual projects : going to Mars and instauring a military basement there to save part of human beings. I discuss about wether its feasable or not, about the morality of that gesture ( only some of the human beings )

Its not all of it, i have to improve the way of presenting it. I just want to know if i can continue in this way, or if im totally out of subject.

Thanks for ur help

Hi everyone !
I am applying forto Northwestern U niversity and they rare asking me to write a sampleessay .

It has to be based on a story, for example a real incident, a popular tale or an anecdote, and then iI have to develop it into a discussion of an issue related to our contemporary world.

It has to be coherantcoherent , organized, and have with good arguments

I have an idea but imI'm not sure about it.

For the story, I am thinking about the apocalypse, or judgementjudgment day. All those stories about the end of the world.

Then, i want to develop that introduction into the environment problems. We know that someday, somehow, the end of the world will come, it washas been proven scientifically.

The core of my essay will be that this situation leaves us with the question of the human being' s existence. Even thothough we have made significant progress in the technologies, in the science; even thothough we have a religion, all of these creations made by the human kind will vanish like we never existed.

then, for a second part, iI will talk about how the human being can win against the Nature with his intelligence, referingreferring to the proverb of Blaise Pascal," Nature is stronger than mankind but mankind is stronger than Nature in the fact that it knows that it is weaker than Nature."

I will then be talking about the actual projects : going to Mars and instauringinstalling(I don't even know what you were trying to spell here), a military basement there to save part of human beings. I discuss about wetherwhetheritsit is feasible or not, and about the morality of that gesture (only some of the human beings).

Its not all of it, iI have to improve the way of presenting it. I just want to know if I can continue in this way, or if imI'm totally out of subject.

Thanks for uryour help

This is a good outline. You should really work on grammar especially on a website that is based around essay writing. I think you may have posted this thread in the wrong forum, perhaps the feedback forum would be best suited for the advice you are asking for.

-Sharla

I am impressed by your topic. I want to suggest to start with recent problem of environment Global Warming.

You have to have something meaningful and unique to say. The way you started this explanation reminded me of Lovelock's writings about Gaia, so google that for ideas.

You are talking about some ideas about the end of the planet, or end of the human race, but you must have one, solid point you want to convey. You need one poignant message that the whole essay supports.

Don't try to talk about TOO many subjects. Only use subjects that demonstrate the point you are making, the argument you are making.

:-)

Thanks for your comments.
My solid point that I want to make the core of my essay is that we can't accept the end of the world because it means that the efforts, struggles and sufferings of our parents, and ancestors will be for nothing. We have to go beyond our lives, and think of ourselves as human beings for once. We owe to our ancestors to honor their memory by preserving what they left us. Babylon was a tragic and painfull loss. We have an even bigger "Babylon tragedy" waiting for us : the end of the world

I want to say that at the end of one's life, we always ask ourselves what we accomplished. It's something very important to feel at peace. The end of the world is going to erase all that as, even the more important people in history won't be remembered.

That's kind of my solid point.
I don't know if it's solid. I'm not sure if it answers the directions. I don't want to go further unless i know for sure that it's answering to the directions

Another thing, I know that in an essay, we must have 3 parts. I don't know how to divide that core point into 3 parts, and that's what lead me to "TOO many subjects". So i was hoping you could help me on this problem with some suggestions

Thank you again

Based on what you said earlier (on honoring your ancestors,) you can develop your thesis statement to be about preserving the human race and the planet (i.e. nature.) Talk about how you see your self doing this - spend more time on this than doomsday or armageddon. Tie that into what you want to study and why NW.

Okay the only problem with it, in relation to the instructions, is that you are not clear enough about identifying the real story or folk lore. Are you talking about the biblical prediction of Judgment Day or the scientific prediction that our world, and even our sun, will end? Whatever it is, introduce it in the intro and make your claim (thesis statement).

Then, give supporting arguments in the body paragraph. Remember that the first sentence of the paragraph should give its main idea.

Then, in the conclusion, make your assertion again and discuss its implications.

You are off to a great start. Stay mindful of what, exactly, you are encouraging people to do.

:-)

Please can you tell me if that sounds correct. I'm a foreigner, and no one can help me with my essay. I just wanted to know if there are sentences badly constructed, or grammar errors, Thanks for reading.

"When the earth is severely quaked.
And the earth ejects its loads.
The human will wonder: "What is happening?" .
On that day, it will tell its news.
That your Lord has commanded it.
On that day, the people will issue from every direction, to be shown their works.
Whoever does an atom's weight of good will see it. And whoever does an atom's weight of evil will see it."
Qu'ran sura 99

From religion to science fiction, mankind has always been fascinated by the end of the world. It inspired the most illustrious novelists, and nourished the faith of numerous believers. However, we live at a time where fiction and predictions are joining reality as the world is being torn apart by environmental conditions. The end of the world is no longer a myth, and seems more real than ever: Earthquakes in Haiti, in Chile... It is now proven by science, and obliges us to wonder about human's existence, his sacrifices, struggles that might all disappear.

Some of us do not think that our history and our future is worth fighting. They only think about our present, pursuing their pollution in the name of economy. Indeed, pollution and land degradation, is the engine of the capitalist system today. If we stopped the operation of a sudden, as would any ecologist, the world would fall into anarchy. We have seen the tragic consequences of Black Thursday in 1929,that we were reminded of in 2008 by the financial crisis. We saw the real extent of his capitalism, and we paid the consequences. In Amazonia, every second, 1,350 m2 of forest cover is torn. This deforestation feeds hundreds of thousands of Brazilian families, and is the basis for many large global companies. Remove deforestation would plunged part of the world's population into misery. The entire United States is based on the exploitation of their considerable natural resources. Prohibit this exploitation, and it will plunge the superpower into total chaos. It leaves us to a dilemma:

Is immerging the world today into anarchy worth saving human's existence?
The history of human existence is full of struggles, wars, discoveries. Struggles against slavery, for human rights, the suffering endured by the discriminated, the soldiers. Mankind has restlessly been fighting to create a better world, one in which we live today: a world of tolerance, peace, freedom. Forgetting these efforts by destroying this world, would reduce the sufferings of our fathers and our mothers to nothing. We need to consider ourselves, for once, as human beings, all equal, and as human beings, we have the duty to honor the memory of our ancestors by preserving their heritage. The fall of Babylon has been a terrible loss, still echoing in the writings of our ancestors. Do we really want it to happen again in a far larger scale?

The first step to slow the critical situation, is to agree that we can't totally stop pollution. We depend on the exploitation of natural resources. Nonetheless, we should establish serious limitations, not optional, like it used to be till today, and make sure that those limitations are fervently respected. The best way to do so is to declare anti-pollution as a basis of the law, as important as human rights, because at the end, neglect is a crime against humanity.

Oh and please, can you tell me. If the university asks 300 to 500 words. Can we still write 536 or is it going to cause a problem ?

The concluding sentence in your first paragraph does not tie in to the essay's last concluding sentence: The best way to do so is to declare anti-pollution as a basis of the law, as important as human rights, because at the end, neglect is a crime against humanity.Is this the main point you are trying to make? If so, state it upfront and use each subsequent paragraph to convince the reader to support this point.


What do you intend to convey? "might all disappear" needs to be more clearly worded. DO YOU MEAN FUTILE SACRIFICES AND STRUGGLES?


YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL WITH USAGE OF "WE," "HE" "THEY" - try to name who you are talking about. The middle part of your essay verges on being a diatribe.