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Many applicants to college are unsure about eventual majors. What factors led you to your interest?


sa1na 9 / 72 19  
Sep 21, 2014   #1
This is my essay about the topic. It cannot be longer owing to the word limit. I would be grateful if you could mention the problems.

How I can understand everything better, how different I think about the problems in comparison with others, and the different and unique solutions I can find for problems because of my knowledge about computer are what have increased my interest in computer science. As time passes, I feel prouder about my knowledge in this field, and feel more eager to increase it. Moreover, computer science is a science that has no limits in it; no one is going to stop you from developing your knowledge and you always have the chance to create something new and individual.

In addition to routine school works related to computer science, I have participated in four different projects as a member of the computer part of the project. I have learnt to program with four different computer programming languages, and becoming better at this skill has increased my interest in this field simultaneously.
Rakhmat 1 / 1  
Sep 21, 2014   #2
1)better = (more) clearly
2) Solution to (not for)
3) instead of "prouder", it is better to say "confident"
4) ... science that has no limits (or limitations) in. (do not use "it". " science" has already implied it. You can omit "in" as well)

5) ...to have a chance (here not the chance)
6) This part is a bit complicated: I have participated in four different projects as a member of the computer (computing) part of the project .
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Sep 21, 2014   #3
It would help if you tell us what the word limit is so that we can better help you analyze and revise the essay. Any chance you can let us know what the word count is at this point? All I can offer for now is an overview of the essay with some revisions to shorten the length. There are some sentences that are too long for the paragraph so I am making some suggested versions of the sentences to help streamline the paper.

How I can understand everything better, how different I think about the problems in comparison with others, and the different and unique solutions I can find for problems because of my knowledge about computer are what have increased my interest in computer science

- My interest in science steams from a desire to think about unique problem solutions in relation to computer programming and logic

As time passes, I feel prouder about my knowledge in this field, and feel more eager to increase it. Moreover, computer science is a science that has no limits in it; no one is going to stop you from developing your knowledge and you always have the chance to create something new and individual.

- I've been studying all things computer related relentlessly so I am quite proud and confident about my knowledge in the field. I know that studying computers will offer me infinite learning possibilities and will always allow me to create a new computer programs that will help advance the field.

In addition to routine school works related to computer science, I have participated in four different projects as a member of the computer part of the project. I havelearnt to program with four different computer programming languages, and becoming better at this skill has increased my interest in this field simultaneously.

- I have learned ...

Overall, this is a very solid short statement. I hope my suggestions help. Good luck with your application :-)
nicolezmh1997 6 / 30 8  
Sep 21, 2014   #4
hello!
Your essay is a quite solid statement.
However, I find that the first entence is too long and too redundant.
Maybe you should rephrase it into a more concise statement in order to make it easier for others to understand!
Keep working:)
OP sa1na 9 / 72 19  
Sep 21, 2014   #5
I thought about your words, all of you, and thank to you I finally found out why I did not like this essay at all. I changed it in the following way: let me know if it looks better and less solid :)

The computer's world does not show its power until you start to understand it. Afterwards, the changes in how you see the world are what keep you going forward. Everything seems different, clearer, brighter, and even more logical. No one but a programmer can understand this evolution comprehensibly. More you learn about this world, more eager you become.

After participating in numerous projects related to computer science, and participating in different robotic competitions, I feel that nothing can seal me from flourishing in this world. A lucky person is who had found what in the world best fits them. When you find your place in the world, all your organs call you to catch the chance to stay in it.

I have experienced a great deal of situations in different, sometimes even not related, fields before finding my real interest, and these understandings are what make my choice worthwhile, and are what ensure me of the validity of my choices.
nicolezmh1997 6 / 30 8  
Sep 21, 2014   #6
You did a great job in revising it!
But maybe you still need to revise it a little bit.
The prompt is asking you, you as a unique existing. WHY do you want to pursue computer science?
In my opinion, in the "why essay", writer should put more focus on his or her experiences in order to show the key word "why". I notice that you answer the prompt in the second paragraph. Yet the first paragraph is not effective enough. Those words are quite fluent, beautiful and inspiring, but you should boldly point out that it is the factor of variability in the field of computer that impels you to further pursue your interest.

Moreover, you should add more info about yourself, about how the computer changes your world or influences you to become a better individual.
What's the word limit by the way?


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