FSU Application Essay - Learning. Advice? Thoughts?

Learning is to recreate a thought every time a mistake is made, to change the pattern and hope for a better result. To learn is not just to sit in a classroom and memorize content for an upcoming test, but also to apply what is being taught to life itself. This is for the simple fact that knowledge is necessary in order to grow and move forward. Why is learning important and what do I want to study the most? This question determines the outcome for college and the rest of someone's life. One should care about learning for the sake of learning itself, not just for the sake of good grades.

I've become extremely familiar with the scenes of both my orthodontists' office, and my dentist. It always seemed fascinating how a single person could turn a horrid set of teeth, into a smile brighter than the sun. I have always wanted to be able to make a difference in someone's life and the career of being in orthodontics seems to fit my passion. The power in making childhood teeth straight to help provide a better today and tomorrow is something that can be introduced in an almost "superhero" manner. Being a teenager or even an adult, a nice smile could give you all the confidence in the world whether it is for a job interview, or taking a girl out. I can still remember how nervous I was during my first visit to the orthodontist; I want to make my patients experience fun and comfortable.

Seem decent?

This is a good start, but maybe when describing your orthodontist experience, you should maybe add more about how it is a learning experience. At first, in the beginning of your essay it's clear that your topic is learning, but the second paragraph sort of goes off on a tangent. Maybe try tying it back into the topic of learning, and incorporate more details about how it has been a learning experience.

Good luck!