Our backgrounds and experiences shape how we navigate the world and see ourselves. Tell us about when, where, or with whom you feel your most authentic, powerful self. How might Barnard further cultivate this version of you? (300 word limit)
When performing Chinese dance at the school's cultural show, I felt a profound connection to my heritage. In that moment of sharing the stage with individuals of diverse backgrounds, my identity extends beyond being a student by encompassing my nationality, gender, and more. This encounter with global and cross-cultural diversity has led to my deeper appreciation of the world's intersectionality and my unique place in this intricacy. Through embracing and exploring this complexity, I met my most authentic and powerful self.
Barnard's interdisciplinary curriculum and uncomparable resources would further encourage me to pursue my intellectual passion while exploring this self-other complexity. Studying Health Psychology with Professor Tara Well, I'd integrate my experiences from a peer health support group to class discussions and deepen my understanding of multifaceted roots of psychological illness. Complementing this with Professor Cecilia Fontanesi's dance therapy sessions, I aim to help Barnard Health and Wellness better facilitate the interconnection between physical movement and mental well-being.
My journey of uncovering the world aligns with Barnard's commitment to amplifying women's voices, through which I would broaden my vision and illuminate areas historically lacking women's insights. For example, with the Psychology of Leadership course's emphasis on women leadership, I would investigate the gender dynamics in leadership roles. Participating in Social Interaction Lab's research on gender differences in STEM learning would enrich my experiences as a Math Ambassador to continually empower more women in STEM.
Nestled in the heart of New York City and interconnected with Columbia's vibrant community, Barnard is a fertile ground that brings theories and passions into real-world applications, enabling me to change in culturally and intellectually diverse ways. Supported by this close-knit community, a hub for the courageous and the innovative, I would always find inspiration to understand the world from fresh perspectives and make a difference. (300)
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,844 
4785 I am not very convinced about the effects of traditional Chinese dance with regards to finding your most powerful self. I would have wanted to read a better and more extensively developed discussion of that point. What you have presented is so summarized that it lost context and impact in the eyes of the reviewer. You should have strengthened and lengthened that discussion in the presentation. You have 300 words to work with, you should have dedicated at least 150 words to that part. You are trying to sell yourself as a transfer student. The last paragraph about Barnard sounds like it came out of the school website. It could have used further development in an original context. This sounds too much like a disconnected response paragraph.
