Ok....however, it is better if you included your essay prompt also in the post so that we know exactly what it requires and accordingly check whether your answer is aligned with those requirements.
While voyaging into the wonderful world of college searching finding an institution of higher learning that fulfills my needs was a exhausting yet exhilarating experience
.... well, I do not think this sentence made much meaningful contribution to your response. Try and avoid talking about general stuff and get more focus on to yourself. I believe you have a strict word count and therefore make use of every word to help them understand you as a person , thereby a deserving candidate :)