Ariana Grande is the person that I admire for her striking features

WRITE A DESCRIPTIVE PARAGRAPH TO DESCRIBE A PERSON YOU ADMIRE.

Ariana Grande is a person that I have admired more than four years. I started finding some information about her through her song 'Problem'. She was born in June,26th,1993 in U.S. She is not only a singer but also a songwriter and a actress.She began her career in 2008. Thanks to her talent and luck, she has received everyone's love and quickly achieved great success. In addtion, Ariana Grande has striking features that I can not take my eyes off. She is quite tall and really slender.

Especially, she is famousfor long thick brown poytail and swarthy complexion. She looks graceful with her deep brown eyes, straight edged nose and full lips. I was impressed by her sexy voice but powerful. She looks so great with good looking and her career. That is why she is my idol and the person I want to be.

Thank you for your comments.

That sound great idea. I think you might try to descriptive her in other way like her motivation or encourage in doing something that benefit others... it sound make her more interested.

Mai, you are giving the biography of Ariana Grande in this statement. That is not the same as the descriptive paragraph to explain why you admire her. The essay should be describing Ariana Grande from your point of view. That means, explaining why you admire the person based on looks, social status, influential activities, and other considerations. The paragraph should be about what the qualities and skills the person has that you admire or what actions the person has made that helped inspire you towards a positive action or attitude. The first paragraph is not a descriptive presentation. The second paragraph would have qualified more as such if you had written more in that section about the influence she has had or shown that made her an admirable person to you. Base your revised description on how people view her talents and skills and then compare it to how you see her as a person and artist. That would be more aligned with a descriptive response than what you currently have written.

@Holt
Thank you for your comment.
It's a paragraph not essay.