Write a Personal Statement letting the selection committee know more about you. It should include your goals, motivations, ambitions and why you feel that you would be a good fit at a UWC. 500 words.
Ever since the first time I was asked what I wanted to accomplish in life, my answer has unchangingly remained "to help those in pain". To a six year old me, it involved being a doctor and handing out lollipops and stickers to aggravated children. At nine, I was convinced that I could assist in finding the cure to cancer. By the time I was a teenager, the difficulties faced by Pakistanis became glaringly obvious and I made it my goal to remove the misery from the faces of those I saw on the news.
Though I have a long way to go before I make a significant change, I believe that admission in a UWC college will help me get there. My confident, friendly and out-spoken nature will allow me to mingle with people and portray my views of ongoing global problems to them, taking their opinions into account and then coming up with creative solutions and ideas that may one day be implemented.
My determination and drive to excel (high academic performance?) will aid me in completing the IB program with exemplary (great?) scores and enabling me to pursue a career in medicine. Using my acquired skills, I plan to fulfill my dreams of reducing grief and sorrow; prolonging lives and promoting health by researching prevention and treatment of diseases in Pakistan, and possibly the world.
My eagerness to give back to the society will make me a worthy addition to a UWC college, along with my enthusiasm for community service and charity work. I will uphold the principles UWC was founded upon and contribute as much as I can into creating a sustainable future.
I am devoted to my country and religion, and my resolve to show individuals that not all Muslims and Pakistanis are how they are perceived to be, will be brought into play as I interact with students and staff from around the world, who will see in me the majority of Pakistanis and Muslims whom (which? that? who?) are neither terrorists, nor corrupt. I plan to make them understand that it is the few black sheep of the community who have gone astray and created negative stereotypes of my people. I will work to the best of my abilities at a UWC college so when as I represent the Pakistanis and Muslims to my foreign peers, I will make my country and religion proud. Of course, not only will I be changing the perceptions of people at UWC, but I will also be learning from them, increasing my knowledge, and clearing my own misconceptions.
At a multi-cultural school, we will be able to talk about our differences. We will be given the opportunity to settle our disagreements, and it will teach us how it is words that can bring peace and comradeship between cultures. War will not solve our problems, and neither will ill-concealed hatred. I want to be able to take part in speaking these words at a UWC: words that will bring together people of different races, and ultimately 'help those in pain'.
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thank you!
the parts in brackets are substitutions of phrases i'm uncertain about.
please tell me what you think!
Ever since the first time I was asked what I wanted to accomplish in life, my answer has unchangingly remained "to help those in pain". To a six year old me, it involved being a doctor and handing out lollipops and stickers to aggravated children. At nine, I was convinced that I could assist in finding the cure to cancer. By the time I was a teenager, the difficulties faced by Pakistanis became glaringly obvious and I made it my goal to remove the misery from the faces of those I saw on the news.
Though I have a long way to go before I make a significant change, I believe that admission in a UWC college will help me get there. My confident, friendly and out-spoken nature will allow me to mingle with people and portray my views of ongoing global problems to them, taking their opinions into account and then coming up with creative solutions and ideas that may one day be implemented.
My determination and drive to excel (high academic performance?) will aid me in completing the IB program with exemplary (great?) scores and enabling me to pursue a career in medicine. Using my acquired skills, I plan to fulfill my dreams of reducing grief and sorrow; prolonging lives and promoting health by researching prevention and treatment of diseases in Pakistan, and possibly the world.
My eagerness to give back to the society will make me a worthy addition to a UWC college, along with my enthusiasm for community service and charity work. I will uphold the principles UWC was founded upon and contribute as much as I can into creating a sustainable future.
I am devoted to my country and religion, and my resolve to show individuals that not all Muslims and Pakistanis are how they are perceived to be, will be brought into play as I interact with students and staff from around the world, who will see in me the majority of Pakistanis and Muslims whom (which? that? who?) are neither terrorists, nor corrupt. I plan to make them understand that it is the few black sheep of the community who have gone astray and created negative stereotypes of my people. I will work to the best of my abilities at a UWC college so when as I represent the Pakistanis and Muslims to my foreign peers, I will make my country and religion proud. Of course, not only will I be changing the perceptions of people at UWC, but I will also be learning from them, increasing my knowledge, and clearing my own misconceptions.
At a multi-cultural school, we will be able to talk about our differences. We will be given the opportunity to settle our disagreements, and it will teach us how it is words that can bring peace and comradeship between cultures. War will not solve our problems, and neither will ill-concealed hatred. I want to be able to take part in speaking these words at a UWC: words that will bring together people of different races, and ultimately 'help those in pain'.
----
thank you!
the parts in brackets are substitutions of phrases i'm uncertain about.
please tell me what you think!