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'many aspects to me' - Morgan state univeristy essay



nky99913 1 / 5  
Oct 24, 2012   #1
I need more stuff to add and please help to make it more interesting

The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.' - Aristotle. The intellectual, social and cultural differences embraced by Morgan State University are integral to the fabric of our community. The strength of the University is realized through the contributions of every member of our campus. We understand each individual is a result of his/her personal background and experiences. Describe the parts that add up to the sum of you. (Maximum 500 words)

There are many aspects to me. My family for one is a huge part of me. I love hanging out with my family. My mum is the extrovert of the family and my dad is the introvert. It's no wonder I am a cross between an introvert and an extrovert. I cherish my privacy and I don't always like to go out for parties but when I do go out I make sure I have as much fun as possible. Music is also a big part of me. I play the guitar fairly well and I also play the piano. My academic life is a part of me I can't omit. I love everything about my school- the teachers, the learning atmosphere and most especially the students. The teachers in my school are really nice and very understanding. They know how to convey a message to students in the easiest and most understandable way possible. My friends that I act mature for my age and have been commended on my ability to keep a cool head in high pressure situations. I am a very independent person and I prefer to do things on my own. I don't usually ask my parents for help with most things. I don't like asking my parents for money so I always have my own to buy things I need at anytime like school stuff.

please help its very urgent !!!!
Thanks in advance!!! :)

Jayashree95 4 / 19  
Oct 24, 2012   #2
'My friends SAY that... and I have been commended....'

I suggest you:
1) make it more formal. 'I love hanging out with my family...' could be replaced.
2) Include better examples/references. These are good, but they don't stand out, so you could work on that part to make it effective. :-) goodluck! :-)
OP nky99913 1 / 5  
Oct 24, 2012   #3
thanks i write a revised version


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