Prompt: Please provide a written statement that includes your own assessment of your potential for undergraduate study and for a professional career in nursing, and your
reason for selecting the UCLA School of Nursing. You may include information indicating any personal life challenges you have experienced. Multicultural experiences, bilingual abilities and economic, educational or social disadvantages should also be included here. Indicate how your volunteer, work, or other life experiences influenced your decision to pursue a nursing career.
It's nowhere close to being done, but I just wanted to know if I'm going in the right direction or if the whole idea of my essay is appropriate for the prompt. So far, I've only answered the "volunteer" portion, and I'm having a hard time transitioning to the other topics that they're asking for. I don't want it to be all over the place with too much going on, but then again, the prompt is very much like that. Anyway, please comment on anything and let me know if I probably should write a different essay.
Statement of Purpose
I was four when I discovered my penchant for art. I was twelve when I claimed the world of writing as my own. I was fourteen when I aspired to be an interior designer, a computer engineer, or a graphic artist. I longed to become anything but a nurse, the "traditional" career path of my Filipino relatives. My childhood was a pleasant phase of discovery; I was a lone dreamer who sought a unique future. Unwillingly following my family's footsteps was an appalling idea for my juvenile self.
The summer after sophomore year, I acknowledged my passion for lending a hand. I volunteered at Operation Gratitude, an organization that provides care packages for military troops and their families. It may have been a brief experience, but I learned of gratitude, altruism, and diligence simply through packing assorted goods, sending stuffed toys to children, and reading little five-year-olds' heartwarming letters to soldiers. I was sixteen when I put others' needs before mine.
Most recently, I discovered something rather unexpected: my fondness for people. In my junior year of high school, I began to volunteer at the Mid Valley YMCA where I supervise and tutor elementary and middle school kids. As an individualist, I was hardly the communicative kind; I often resorted to artistic means at times of distress, and I embraced isolation. Working at the Y, however, provided me a great sense of accomplishment by aiding children and bettering their learning. I was sixteen when I acquired a profound desire to help.
The last stage of my high school career came with the dreaded "college application season." Writing the UC personal statement was a nightmare, primarily because of my indecisiveness for my future. I began writing without knowing what major to choose or what direction to approach, but not long after reminiscing about my childhood and accomplishments as an adolescent, my future was set in a mere flash of insight. "I aspire to become a pediatric nurse," I instinctively inscribed. I was seventeen when I finally grasped what I want to be.
I was four when I discovered my penchant for art. I was twelve when I claimed the world of writing as my own.
First Show, Then tell
I was sixteen when I put others' needs before mine. Awkward Framing,
At sixteen, I learned to be grateful and compassionate.
It may have been a brief experience, but I learned of gratitude, altruism, and diligence
but it inculcated the values of gratitude, altruism, and diligence
I instinctively inscribed
inscribed ? Where?
This has good ideas, but the essay can be much better.
you didn't say y UCLA ?
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