Astana's competition ; UBC - How I responded to a significant challenge

Please correct the errors.

Topic:Explain how you responded to a significant challenge that you have encountered and what you learned in the process. (maximum 200 words)

Sometimes even teenagers can give a help for their parents. Majority of them don't understand and don't use their chance to make their parents' life easier. In my opinion to do this is duty of every person.

In 10th grade it was crucial to my parents to receive help from me. Since they paid for my school we had adversity with money. I searched for different possibilities and finally found out that I will get discount if I get a place in Astana's competition among programmers. I decided to achieve this; however my teacher didn't know appropriate programming language and I hadn't any other choice except studying by myself. I never thought that I will be completely fascinated by this activity. From the first program, I made, I understood that I want to do this my entire life, but even so, the work, I planned to do, was enormous. I used to take small netbook to school and study during brakes while my peers rested. Moreover, I stayed on in school for 2 extra hours.

Eventually, my diligence was rewarded. I received discount in addition to 3rd place in competition.

Thanks!

.... I think you can present this more effectively;
Some teenagers don't understand the hardships of their parents and make some effort to give them a helping hand to make their life easier.

However, I feel this is not going to add much value to your answer as an idea... You are stating a general opinion here whereas the prompt requests you to explain your response to a challenge and what you leaned out of it.

So my suggestion is to start with your challenge and present this idea at the end as something you learned during the process of meeting this challenge.

Thank you for response.Here is the corrected one

Sometimes in your life appear chances which you cannot miss.
In 10th grade it was crucial to my parents to receive help from me. Since they paid for my school we had adversity with money. I searched for different possibilities and finally found out that I will get discount if I get a place in Astana's competition among programmers. I decided to achieve this; however my teacher did not know appropriate programming language and I had no other choices except studying by myself. I never thought that I will be completely fascinated by this activity. From the first program, I made, I understood that I want to do this my entire life, but even so, the work, I planned to do, was enormous. I used to take small netbook to school and study during brakes while my peers rested. Moreover, I stayed on in school for 2 extra hours every day.

Eventually, my diligence was rewarded. I received discount in addition to 3rd place in competition.
It is true that sometimes even teenagers can give a help for their parents. In my opinion to do this is duty of every person.