UT Austin Transfer Essay A (Apply Texas) - Help on statement of purpose (Theatre Major)

I deserve the chance to try make an impact at UT Austin

It is always a very euphoric feeling to be able to elicit a strong emotion from someone. At least that is how it has always felt for me. I have been acting since I was a shy, shrimpy boy in 6th grade and as each year passed me by I was able to better understand what I love so much about theatre. As a middle schooler, I was not sure what I was doing or why I could possibly be enjoying it. As such an apprehensive kid it did not make any sense why I enjoyed putting myself out in front of others but as I reminisce it was always just so exciting. Scary, but exciting nonetheless. Up until highschool that is the mindset I carried with me. I did it for the excitement. I did it because of how emotional it all made me feel. I began learning in high school a lot of hard truths. You might not always be cast. You might not ever be cast. You might be unliked. And there is always someone better than you. This brought me down for a while and I would say that only recently I have began to discover what I really love about theatre. I have found that it truly is the emotions that drive me now and will always drive me. Eliciting any kind of feeling from others has always invigorated me but more than anything else, what drives me is laughter. In times when I was not even sure why I was in plays, or in acting classes, or spending just so much of my time with theatre, I remembered laughter. My dream is to make people laugh and have the opportunity to center my career around that. But, I don't want to pigeonhole myself. I want the opportunity to make a career out of all emotions.

I have always fallen back on laughter when I had the choice between comedic and dramatic acting. I do not want to be forced to fall back anymore. Along with practicing long and hard to be the funniest person I can be, I want to be able to do everything else too. I want to make people cry. I want to make people scared. I want to make people angry. It is an honor when you see that you have had an effect on someone. I want the chance to become the best actor I can be, in every way possible. There are times in my life when I found it difficult to work hard. I did not always get the best grades in high school and I did not always feel confident in myself either. But, when it comes to being accepted into UT Austin's Theatre and Dance program and attending a college where I feel as though I can grow, I've never been more motivated. I finished my first semester at Collin Community College with really good grades and I expect to finish my second semester with the same, not because it's easy, but because I'm working hard. I want to become so funny that everyone laughs before I even start my jokes. It sounds unrealistic, but this is one of the first times in my life when I have been so confident about something. For a long time I was not sure what I wanted, like many people just leaving highschool, and even now I still can not say what exactly I want, but I know that I want to make people laugh. I want to make people laugh and then render them speechless when I turn around and make them cry. My goal is to hone the skills I already have and open myself to everything I do not. I believe that I can make an impact at UT Austin and I believe that I deserve the chance to try.

Ben, the transfer college application essay should be completed in a manner that indicates specific information relating to the degree of learning that you have acquired at your current university and the reasons why you choose to switch universities at this point in time. You need not explain the history of your love for acting or theater in this essay. Rather, you need to discuss why you think you will perform better as a student at UT based on your chosen major.

The first paragraph should indicate a discussion regarding why you opted to enroll at Collin Community College. Explain the circumstances that led to your enrolment there and what our previous school year was like. If it was a satisfying endeavor to a certain extent then say so and explain what made it a sour experience eventually.

The second paragraph, should explain why you feel that you have reached the end of the road with regards to your studies at Collin. Explain where your academic plans for the future deviated from your previous plans and then indicate the reason why you feel compelled to pursue this new academic goal for yourself. This is where you can summarize the discussion about your love of acting and theater, but be careful. Don't go overboard in the discussion as you did here. Just summarize it.

The third and last paragraph should contain the reasons why you believe that the transfer to UT Austin is what you need right now. Delve on your academic goals as it pertains to acting and why only this university can help you achieve that. Draw comparisons to your previous academic experience at Collin then explain why you believe that it will be different for you this time around.

Close the essay with a statement that reiterates your excitement about starting the next semester in a course that you are sure to excel in because this is the course you should have been enrolled in all along. Indicate how you hope to start anew at the university and also, help to improve the quality of the learning experience because of your previous experience at Collin Community College.

Ben,

I think your essay is coming along well. I think, as far as organization goes, you could really strengthen your essay by putting your "hard truths" along with the similar idea about your previous academic issues. Both of these indicate growth and maturity, and together show the impact both theatre and hopefully UT will have on your growth. Doing this will also "de-clutter" what is an otherwise effective closing paragraph. Good luck!