Hi, I just want to get some feedbacks about my essay.
Since I'm not a good writer, your feedback will help to improve my essay greatly.
Please be honest and criticize me hard if you need.
And thank you for reading my essay!
Topic B: Describe a circumstance, obstacle or conflict in your life, and the skills and resources you used to resolve it. Did it change you? If so, how?
My first job after turning sixteen was a grocery stocker at the local store called "O-mart" (simply known as oriental food market). O-mart ran a successful business by aiming a niche market of selling exotic and unique Asian products that no one sells in the near area. The store was always congested with people coming from various places, trying to purchase Asian food such as homemade kimchi. Working here wasn't a pleasant or entertaining experience at the beginning. Handling a considerable amount of items in one day with three stockers including myself was a great pain, and dealing with some tricky customers seldom put me into a challenge. However, besides all these obstacles, the biggest one I had to overcome was an awkward relationship between me and my uncle.
My uncle was a general manager who ordered and carried frozen items. Because his position required him to work inside of warehouse for most of the time, I didn't have much opportunity to meet my uncle since stockers weren't permitted to enter. Moreover, his indifferent and sometimes irresponsible nature often created an undesirable conflict with other employees. These factors had put me into a tougher time to approach him that I even started to feel a weird sense of discomfort whenever I encountered him occasionally. As I spent more time hanging out with other employees who were amicable and good-natured, the relationship between me and my uncle rapidly turned awkward as if we don't know or related to each other.
One day, while reading Stephen Covey's "7 habits", one of the most popular books for a successful business and a leadership modeling, I found an inspirational phrase that says "love is a verb." Covey defined true love as a value that is actualized by an action, not by a feeling. After a moment of thinking, it actually reminded me of a situation that I was facing with my uncle. Somehow, we began to separate from each other further because of some mixed "feelings" that we possessed in our mind. Indeed, taking no actions had gradually left us with some uncomfortable feelings, which aggravated even more. So, in order to redevelop a healthy bond between us and prevent any potential trouble, I started to switch my feeling into a positive action to like him.
My daily routine after reading "7 habits" had slightly changed. When the work began at 9:00 every morning, I simply said "good morning" with a jolly tone to my uncle which I've never done before. Whenever I encountered him, giving a smile was one of the biggest changes, since my emotion of him almost perished. Furthermore, if there was something that he needed an additional effort, I volunteered myself by getting permission even though it wasn't my duty as a grocery stocker. Of course, a change didn't happen immediately. At first, he simply ignored my greeting without a single glance for several days, creating a frustration and a doubt that my action isn't effective at all. However, by imagining a better outlook in near future, I kept my mind stubborn and continued taking a positive action. Eventually, I discovered a change in his feeling. Just like other typical days, while helping on my uncle's task, he suddenly replied "thank you for your help" in a tiny voice. People may think that it's not a significant change, but the person with an indifferent nature who never greeted or answered me back throughout my career expressed an appreciation was a huge progress in my perspective. It was my first huge step that opened his locked heart and provided me a hope to build a better relationship I wished.
Still, our relationship hasn't fully recovered yet, but now we can smile at each other and say hello casually due to my effort. Stephen Covey's phrase gave me a valuable lesson that action can change everything, including our own feelings. It may not noticeable at the beginning, but passionate and continuous action will later lead to a great change. It also turned me into a more positive minded person who can trust and believe in oneself. I believe that the lesson I've learned will help me greatly throughout the college, where the importance of an action is one of the most important factors in both academic and social life.
Since I'm not a good writer, your feedback will help to improve my essay greatly.
Please be honest and criticize me hard if you need.
And thank you for reading my essay!
Topic B: Describe a circumstance, obstacle or conflict in your life, and the skills and resources you used to resolve it. Did it change you? If so, how?
My first job after turning sixteen was a grocery stocker at the local store called "O-mart" (simply known as oriental food market). O-mart ran a successful business by aiming a niche market of selling exotic and unique Asian products that no one sells in the near area. The store was always congested with people coming from various places, trying to purchase Asian food such as homemade kimchi. Working here wasn't a pleasant or entertaining experience at the beginning. Handling a considerable amount of items in one day with three stockers including myself was a great pain, and dealing with some tricky customers seldom put me into a challenge. However, besides all these obstacles, the biggest one I had to overcome was an awkward relationship between me and my uncle.
My uncle was a general manager who ordered and carried frozen items. Because his position required him to work inside of warehouse for most of the time, I didn't have much opportunity to meet my uncle since stockers weren't permitted to enter. Moreover, his indifferent and sometimes irresponsible nature often created an undesirable conflict with other employees. These factors had put me into a tougher time to approach him that I even started to feel a weird sense of discomfort whenever I encountered him occasionally. As I spent more time hanging out with other employees who were amicable and good-natured, the relationship between me and my uncle rapidly turned awkward as if we don't know or related to each other.
One day, while reading Stephen Covey's "7 habits", one of the most popular books for a successful business and a leadership modeling, I found an inspirational phrase that says "love is a verb." Covey defined true love as a value that is actualized by an action, not by a feeling. After a moment of thinking, it actually reminded me of a situation that I was facing with my uncle. Somehow, we began to separate from each other further because of some mixed "feelings" that we possessed in our mind. Indeed, taking no actions had gradually left us with some uncomfortable feelings, which aggravated even more. So, in order to redevelop a healthy bond between us and prevent any potential trouble, I started to switch my feeling into a positive action to like him.
My daily routine after reading "7 habits" had slightly changed. When the work began at 9:00 every morning, I simply said "good morning" with a jolly tone to my uncle which I've never done before. Whenever I encountered him, giving a smile was one of the biggest changes, since my emotion of him almost perished. Furthermore, if there was something that he needed an additional effort, I volunteered myself by getting permission even though it wasn't my duty as a grocery stocker. Of course, a change didn't happen immediately. At first, he simply ignored my greeting without a single glance for several days, creating a frustration and a doubt that my action isn't effective at all. However, by imagining a better outlook in near future, I kept my mind stubborn and continued taking a positive action. Eventually, I discovered a change in his feeling. Just like other typical days, while helping on my uncle's task, he suddenly replied "thank you for your help" in a tiny voice. People may think that it's not a significant change, but the person with an indifferent nature who never greeted or answered me back throughout my career expressed an appreciation was a huge progress in my perspective. It was my first huge step that opened his locked heart and provided me a hope to build a better relationship I wished.
Still, our relationship hasn't fully recovered yet, but now we can smile at each other and say hello casually due to my effort. Stephen Covey's phrase gave me a valuable lesson that action can change everything, including our own feelings. It may not noticeable at the beginning, but passionate and continuous action will later lead to a great change. It also turned me into a more positive minded person who can trust and believe in oneself. I believe that the lesson I've learned will help me greatly throughout the college, where the importance of an action is one of the most important factors in both academic and social life.
