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How baking spurred my interest in prosocial emotions



Krissiwaters 1 / 1  
Nov 14, 2010   #1
Prompt #2: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you prouds and how does it relate to the person you are?

Any grammatical help on the essay would be great, and i'm also struggling with the conclusion little. Thanks ahead of time!

I began baking at three years old. It all started at my Grandma's house when I would simply hold a mixer in a bowl of cake batter and frost the finished product. My responsibilities in the kitchen increased as I got older, and so did my passion for baking. From then on I was demanded to bake for ever occasion possible.

During Freshman year, I brought a batch of cookies to school and since then, I've had classmates, friends, and even teachers begging for my baked goods. It brought joy to other people and the act of baking was a stress reliever for me as well. The happiness my friends showed when I gave them a baked good made me feel estatic. My friends showed how joyous and excited people would get when they received one. Baking made me realize something about people that nothing else had; it made me focus on how interesting I found prosocial emotions. My interest in learning more about people drove me to social psychology journals. I began researching different topics within psychology and discovered a lot of information that seized my attention.

My curiosity about the positive reactions of my friends after giving them my baked goods made me realize I'm interested in studying the effects of prosocial emotions on helping behaviors as well as negative emotions on behavior. I've enjoyed reading Dacher Keltner's work, and would eventually like to expand upon his work by researching how prosocial emotions broaden attention and cognition and initiate upward spirals toward the increase of emotional well-being . His paper "Effects of Sadness and Anger on Social Perception" in 1993 was particularly interesting to me because it taught me what a massive impact sadness and anger have on judgement. Although my primary interest is social psychology, Barry Collins' paper "A Social Psychological Perspective on the Role of Knowledge about AIDs in AIDs Prevention" synthesized a clinical psychology topic with social psychology, which appeals to me because I am fascinated by finding connections between different fields.

I enjoy reading psychology articles in the news almost as much as I enjoy reading journal articles. Atul Gawande's "Hellhole" captivated me because of his in depth exploration of Harry Harlow's research on baby rhesus monkeys raised in isolation, and Gawande's accounts of men subjected to solitary confinement in other cultures, as well as our own prison system. I'm interested in learning more about the psychological effects of the prison environment on inmates because my biological father is currently in jail, for the second time. European countries specialize in using a preventive approach toward prisoners, which I believe to be a much better solution for the treatment of prisoners. Prolonged isolation is more harmful than helpful because as human beings, we thrive off of social interaction. If we are cut off from all communication, our minds deteriorate and we go insane.

Baking may be seen as just a hobby to some people, but it completely changed my world. It's something that I can embrace when I get older and improve along the way. Psychology is a field that I want to embrace and study as I get older as well, which is why I want to pursue a career in it.

Benn_Myers 8 / 45  
Nov 14, 2010   #2
Well first off I have to say I really like the idea for your essay. Linking baking to Psychology is original and the link is quite well-explained and clear in your essay, so, the most important piece of your essay, content is solid.

As for your introduction I feel that you have a good opportunity for some form of comedy or feel-good writing there. Spending another sentence expanding on your childish forays in the kitchen might bring a smile to a readers face and pull them into the essay easier.

My primary criticism of this essay revolves around your fifth and sixth paragraphs. I'm not an admissions experts but I feel like you citing works you've read and discussing their impact lacks force. They want to know more about you, and while these works demonstrate your knowledge and scratch the surface in exposing your interest in the field, it feels very impersonal. I would rework or remove this part of your essay, focusing and delving deeper into what exactly it is about Psychology that's so interesting to you and what you hope to do with it. (And yes, I know you did this earlier but I feel like you could go a whole lot deeper.)

Overall it's a solid essay, and with a bit of work it'll be as great as the idea. Hope this helps, best of luck.
OP Krissiwaters 1 / 1  
Nov 14, 2010   #3
Thanks so much for your opinion! I was hoping to add a little bit about what I personally find interesting as well, but I didn't know exactly where. Thank you again!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13052  
Nov 24, 2010   #4
...for ever every occasion possible.

ecstatic

My curiosity about the positive reactions of my friends after giving them my baked goods made me realize I'm interested in studying the effects of prosocial emotions...hahaha, Cool! This is a great connection...

judgement judgment

I think you should try to explain this a little more clearly: European countries specialize in using a preventive approach toward prisoners----can you say this in a different way? Maybe you just need a different word to replace "preventative." Maybe you mean rehabilitative?

I like the baking theme!
For you, I recommend Man's Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl.


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