Bates College- "emancipating potential of the liberal arts"

We are asked to comment on how the phrase inspires us and draws us to Bates.

Bates' dedication to the "emancipating potential of the liberal arts" speaks to me directly as I reflect upon the qualities that have been instilled in me: tenacity, discipline, and artistry. I was born an artist. Whether it is perfecting sketches of my pets, attending weekly piano lessons, or dancing for hours at the ballet studio, the arts have always offered a special outlet where I am able to express myself limitlessly. Along with my devotion for the arts, I prioritize variety throughout my journey of academia. On weekdays I attended regular academic school, accompanied by Japanese school on the weekends. Japanese weekend school was an environment where I kept intact with my own culture through learning the Japanese literature and heritage. I see myself fitting in well with Bates' close-knit yet substantial melting pot community with my exposure to these experiences.

This is presented very impressively, especially your passion and devotion to arts. However, I feel it is better if you say a little more than how bates is going to be a perfect fit for you. Nothing much is said in that regard. Try to bring in certain features of Bates and show how well they fit in with your interests. You may need to do a little bit of research on Bates for this purpose. :)