Surprise. Shock. Embarrassment. Different ranges of emotions raced across face as the door to my bathroom stall burst open. Judging by her blood curdling scream, the color flushing from her face, and her widened eyes, my teacher was just as surprised as me. She quickly shut the stall door and began frantically apologizing to me. This was not the first time I had been walked in on using the restroom; in fact it was a common occurrence, and it was all due to the faulty locks on bathroom stall doors.
A quarter of the bathroom stalls in my high school have faulty locks, another quarter of the locks are non-existent. Stall locks are necessary for two main reasons; to prevent others from walking in on me while I am doing my business, and to prevent the two month avoidance of direct eye contact ensued after being walked in on, between the person that walked in and me. Every time the teacher that walked in on me and I cross paths, her body tenses and her pace quickens as she rushes to pass by me. I do not believe our relationship will ever resemble a typical teacher-student relationship.
I have created several alternative solutions for the stall lock problem including putting a rubber band around both ends of the lock, putting a pen in the place of the sliding lock, and holding the door closed with my foot if it can reach the door. However, when neither pen nor rubber band is present I have to depend on the hope that no one will open the stall door; this makes me jittery every time someone enters the restroom. The ultimate solution to the bathroom stall lock problem is for the school to fix them. This will provide the students with a safe, private environment for them to handle their business.
Could you post the prompt please? I like it. I'm assuming that the topic will be a nice change of pace for admissions officers too. The only suggestion I have regards the following:
"Stall locks are necessary for two main reasons; to prevent others from walking in on me while I am doing my business, and to prevent the two month avoidance of direct eye contact ensued after being walked in on, between the person that walked in and me."
It might be nice to break this up a bit more. Other than that, I think it's great.
Whoops Sorry I forgot the prompt
Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.
Different ranges ---No, not different ranges.
Emotions raced across (my?)face as the ...
Use a hyphen: blood-curdling
hyphen: two-month
avoidance of direct eye contact ensued after being walked in on----awesome, heck of a topic!
Hahahahaha, you are so great!
This essay will be a million times better if you extend the theme to be all about school funding, a very meaningful topic. This is a poignant example of a consequence of insufficient school funding.
