BU: how became interested?

Please comment on word voice and content! Thank you.

In five or six sentences, tell us how you first became interested in BU and what steps you have taken to learn more about us.

Growing up in a city bustling with foreigners and rich in attractions has influenced me to search for colleges in similar settings. After discovering that BU's community mirrors Chicago's eclectic and lively scene in Princeton Review's Best 368 Colleges, I turned to the school's website to discover how students thrive on a diverse campus situated in the busy, cultural city of Boston. Besides its metropolis location and diversity, opportunities at BU, such as improving a community during spring break and teaching children in Ecuador, entice me to attend. With the BU Advantage and enrollment in both the CAS and SED, I know that I will receive the best preparation to teach in elementary schools. I hope to join BU's community next fall.

I think this essay is off to a great start. try connecting your sentences more and make them flow.

I don't think you have to include the sentence about teh princeton review because in the previous sentence you talk about likeing the location.

could you read over my essay too? thanks

thanks for commenting!
i might keep the Princeton Review sentence since the prompt asks how I became interested about the school and I found out about BU from that book.

sure ill read over your essay. can you send me the link?

Hey :]
I think it's a pretty well written answer. However, I think you should include a little more about what you want to do and how it relates to BU. But its a great essay nonetheless. And the last sentence is kind of...just thrown in there without much thought. Maybe try blending it with the previous sentence?

P.S. Did you get into UChicago? (or did you not apply early?)

Hiiya!
This is a great answer. I just feel that there should be more of a flow to it and you should talk more about what you want to do. Also the last sentence is a bit awkward.

Anyways, mind looking at mine?

any input will be appreciated!
Good Luck at BU!

ebby, i was deferred. how about you?
thanks for the comments guys. i'll make it flow better and definitely fix the last sentence!

Is it really best to mention the website?

I don't think this essay is really a "Why BU" essay. It asks how I found out more about the school. I did that by looking at the school's website and the Princeton Review book.

This is what I have again. I'm trying to make it more personal so it won't be the typical "I visited your website and saw your college in a college book and now I really want to attend." I added detail on what I looked at and what I like. Comment on flow and sentence structure! Thanks.

The prompt says 5 or 6 sentences, but for submission the limit is 750 characters with spaces. I have 749.

Bustling with foreignors? I actually live in Boston. Well there are foreignors but we don't think of it as "bustling with foreignors."

BU has a lot of international students.