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Beloit, the place that has raised me, Northwestern Supplement Essay- Third Draft



danieljluebke 3 / 7  
Nov 25, 2009   #1
What are the unique qualities of Northwestern - and of the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying - that make you want to attend the University? In what ways do you hope to take advantage of the qualities you have identified?

The perspective I carry in life was largely provided by the place that has raised me. Beloit is a city of 37,000 with both big problems and big hearts. Issues that arise here are more typical of larger cities. Despite this, readily available are many of the qualities small Midwestern towns provide. These conflicting attributes have offered me a unique perspective of the world. I love this place and work every day to make it better.

A long term goal of mine is to return to Beloit, using my education to help solve the problems plaguing this struggling Midwestern town. Alleviating an unemployment rate of 17 percent requires big ideas and new ways to think. Stretching may be a cause for discomfort, but it enables growth in the greatest way. For me, this would occur at Northwestern.

I confess that going to school in Evanston near the bustle of Chicago is tantalizing for this Wisconsinite, as I have long sought the amenities of an urban lifestyle. However, on a visit to campus I witnessed something far more appealing, an observation that still fuels my desire for the University. Noting the worldly atmosphere around me as a world away from my home, I realized I had found exactly the experience I want, and need, in the coming years. In reaching beyond what is familiar in my life, I will gain the most comprehensive perspective I can attain.

The start of college signals a new stage in life, one filled with uncertainty and set on an unfamiliar path. I pride myself on being adaptable to such circumstances, prepared for years of growth reaching beyond lessons learned in lecture halls. The Weinberg College of Arts and Sciences prepares students for tomorrow by stressing the changing times of today. In accomplishing my goals I will need to be successful at adapting and growing with the world.

Northwestern recognizes that learning is rarely confined to the walls of a classroom. The Northwestern Immersion Experience offers an engaging supplement to a traditional academic experience. For me, this would mean a challenge to apply all that I've learned to the things I care about most. This opportunity partners desire with resources, ensuring growth.

My perspective has shaped my future plans. With these, I seek a path that will help bring my goals to fruition. What Northwestern and Weinberg can offer me goes beyond a focused undergraduate education with superb faculty and resources. Alive in everyone on campus and in myself is a desire for growth and a belief in humanity to overcome any problem. I am ready to be challenged in ways I never thought possible. I am ready for Northwestern.

twizzlestraw 12 / 81  
Nov 25, 2009   #2
"Despite this, readily available are many of the qualities small Midwestern towns provide"
- you should reword that.
Good essay! I like your voice and writing style, however, its always a good strategy to be very specific with this type of essay.
This essay doesn't really show that you've done research about Northwestern; you could easily insert another college's name in its place. Try to find something specific, it could be one thing, that really shows that Northwestern is the school for you.
OP danieljluebke 3 / 7  
Nov 26, 2009   #3
Thanks for the tip, I already have an idea in mind of what I will add. Do you think the length is OK?
twizzlestraw 12 / 81  
Nov 26, 2009   #4
Yeah the legnth is good.
No problem, would you mind looking at mine?
Thanks!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13052  
Nov 27, 2009   #5
I like i that you use "confess," a good word.

Commas and a dash:
I confess that going to school in Evanston, near the bustle of Chicago, is tantalizing for a Wisconsinite like myself seeking the amenities of an urban lifestyle. On a visit to campus I witnessed something far more appealing, however -- an observation that still fuels my desire for the University.

very Important: This needs to be an essay about how you, as someone feeling passionate about his subjects of interest, will use the resources at this school. only see vague reference to Weinberg, but I think you should show that you have a clear plan for what you want to learn, and show that the school's resources make it better than any other place for your unique process -- your unique focus of interest and intention.


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