I belong to the community of honor guard members

Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared

very special network

The community of honor guard members in Taiwan is a very special one. First of all, each honor guard in Taiwan is like a family in itself. As they are usually strict about training and focus largely on teamwork, the members of each class are usually very close, closer than most other clubs in high schools. Other honor guard members have told me that the honor guard is like a second home to them.

The entire network of honor guards, to us, is like a huge extended family. In fact, along with the titles Captain, Secretary and Treasurer, we have a special position, Ambassador, whose purpose is to mingle with other honor guards, learn different honor guard techniques from them, and invite them to all our performances as well as attend theirs.

My own position in the honor guard is nothing special, as I don't hold a title. However, I love the sense of connection within the Taiwanese honor guard community. I love the fact that no matter where I go, if I meet someone from another school's honor guard, we are able to talk and share stories like old friends. I love the support that members of earlier classes give us and how they advise us on everything from schoolwork to relationships to training future honor guard members. Most of all, I love the fact that no matter where I go in my life, there will be a place in the honor guard that will always belong to me.

@MWC
I do not know your prompt so i just give you a comment along your work. Overall, the essay is really good, but it have some mistake .

First of it:
Ambassador, whose purpose is to mingle with other honor guards...
Because Ambassador so you should use learns and invites .

Second , you did not express clearly your idea. For example:
the members of each class are usually very close...
You should explain how closer they are, why and what demonstrate that they are very close such as the act , attitude ,..

the first sentence; why is the community of honor guard members in Taiwan a very special one ? you have not given us the answer and then you give us another idea. after comma you should not use capitalization'' , Ambassador''

Cheng, kindly provide a complete copy of the prompt you are responding to. I'm an unclear as to the purpose of your response and its relevance to the prompt. The instructions from the university will allow me to review your response regarding appropriateness and relevance to the prompt expectations. You did good work on the development of the essay content. Though the grammar problems do exist, I would not worry about it for now. The content and word structure will still change as you edit and revise the essay. That means the essay has plenty of room for improvement. The essay has potential so hopefully, this will just require limited editing and revision based upon the prompt demands. I hope you can post the prompt soon so we can offer you a better review of your work.

@Holt
Sorry about that, I hadn't noticed.
Prompt : Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it.

Cheng, before you launch into the discussion of the way the honor guard functions as a team and as a family, it would be in the best interest of your essay for you to first explain what the honor guard is all about. Is it a club? A committee? An organization? What are the basic or core functions of the guard and what makes membership in it special? That is, aside from your personal opinion of what makes it special. By creating a better introduction for the honor guard community, you will be able to better reflect the subtle reasons as to why your membership in this committee is notable and worthy of presentation in this essay. That will also deflect the statement you made about not having a title in the group. Actually, there was no reason for you to have said that because the prompt is not fixated in the title that you have but rather the kind of membership and participation that you have in the group. That is regardless of rank and privilege. The rest of the essay delivers all of the required prompt elements so you don't need to revise those parts anymore.