I would really appreciate some feedback about this essay for my CommonApp. I'm guessing that it may be too long and that I should probably focus more about the actual time that I spent there?? Yes, No?? Thanks in advance for any help
"Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you."
Essay:
The greatest and most important turning point in my life for both my academic and social livelihood was attending North Carolina's Governors School in the summer of 2009. The experiences that I had encountered during the six-week program have forever shaped my life and have truly transformed me into a more open and social individual. Ironically, upon arrival to the program, I had believed that I had made the worst mistake in my life.
"Six weeks!!" was all I could think about as I stepped into the musty and small dorm room on the 4th floor of Stringfield, and as I placed my large and rather heavy suitcase on the thin twin-sized bed, I was sure that the next six weeks would be a complete and utter disaster. I was in complete disbelief that I had signed up for such summer-wasting program that I had thought was for geeks and nerds. Unfortunately, as I repeated those two words over and over in my mind, I knew that there was nothing I could do; it was too late, and that there was no going back home.
Throughout the afternoon, my family and I carried in the numerous bags and items that I had packed of all shapes and sizes, and as my side of room began to fill, there came a point when there was nothing left to unload. This of course meant that there was only one thing left to do; to say my goodbye's and let the agony begin. After my family's departure, I sat on my bed and looked out the window and although I wasn't feeling a sense of homesickness, the fact that I had made such a misjudgment gave me unbelievable and overwhelming feeling of hopelessness. Because of this, I had decided to skip dinner and just went to bed, hoping that the next day's events would bring some kind of happiness or enjoyment.
Believe it or not, I was right; even I was stunned to see such a correction. The next day began with an introduction to the math classes that I had selected as part of the academic program included within the Governor's School package. Early in the morning, I met my first teacher, formally known as "Math Rob," who, even as a quirky 40 year-old mathematician who still lived with his Mom, had the mind of a genius. He constantly threw questions at us and turned our ways of thinking upside down, wanting us to search deeper and ultimately to learn new things and Ideas. My other teacher, Darrell, taught the subject of game theory. Every time we had class, we'd play games that took more time to think about than to actually play. It was most definitely one of the most interesting classes I have ever taken because the amount of thought involved was absolutely mind blowing. However, the most important aspect of that day was that it was the first time I had interacted with my peers. Everywhere I turned there were incredibly gifted, talented and diverse teenagers just like me, willing to go the extra mile to learn new things and engage in fascinating experiences. It was then that I knew that I was where I belonged.
The following weeks were some of the best of my life. I took engaging and exciting math courses in the morning and participated in countless activities in the afternoon. The Meredith College campus that we were situated at provided us with opportunities to practice our serves out on the tennis courts and to swim some laps at the Olympic-sized pool. Whenever the weather permitted, one could find us out on the quad conversing during the afternoons and dancing and rocking it out at weekly dances and concerts. I knew for sure that there was no way that I could have ever spent my summer any better.
And so there's my summary of Summer 2009. I was able to make a myriad life-long friends and enjoyed experiences that I could not have enjoyed anywhere else. During those six weeks, I came out of my shell and had become a much more outgoing and social individual. I loved my six weeks at Governor's School and will always see them as a highlight and turning point of my life. My only hope is that this is what college will be like; a place where I can discover who I am and experience new things all growing both academically and socially within the learning environment of the ****.
"Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you."
Essay:
The greatest and most important turning point in my life for both my academic and social livelihood was attending North Carolina's Governors School in the summer of 2009. The experiences that I had encountered during the six-week program have forever shaped my life and have truly transformed me into a more open and social individual. Ironically, upon arrival to the program, I had believed that I had made the worst mistake in my life.
"Six weeks!!" was all I could think about as I stepped into the musty and small dorm room on the 4th floor of Stringfield, and as I placed my large and rather heavy suitcase on the thin twin-sized bed, I was sure that the next six weeks would be a complete and utter disaster. I was in complete disbelief that I had signed up for such summer-wasting program that I had thought was for geeks and nerds. Unfortunately, as I repeated those two words over and over in my mind, I knew that there was nothing I could do; it was too late, and that there was no going back home.
Throughout the afternoon, my family and I carried in the numerous bags and items that I had packed of all shapes and sizes, and as my side of room began to fill, there came a point when there was nothing left to unload. This of course meant that there was only one thing left to do; to say my goodbye's and let the agony begin. After my family's departure, I sat on my bed and looked out the window and although I wasn't feeling a sense of homesickness, the fact that I had made such a misjudgment gave me unbelievable and overwhelming feeling of hopelessness. Because of this, I had decided to skip dinner and just went to bed, hoping that the next day's events would bring some kind of happiness or enjoyment.
Believe it or not, I was right; even I was stunned to see such a correction. The next day began with an introduction to the math classes that I had selected as part of the academic program included within the Governor's School package. Early in the morning, I met my first teacher, formally known as "Math Rob," who, even as a quirky 40 year-old mathematician who still lived with his Mom, had the mind of a genius. He constantly threw questions at us and turned our ways of thinking upside down, wanting us to search deeper and ultimately to learn new things and Ideas. My other teacher, Darrell, taught the subject of game theory. Every time we had class, we'd play games that took more time to think about than to actually play. It was most definitely one of the most interesting classes I have ever taken because the amount of thought involved was absolutely mind blowing. However, the most important aspect of that day was that it was the first time I had interacted with my peers. Everywhere I turned there were incredibly gifted, talented and diverse teenagers just like me, willing to go the extra mile to learn new things and engage in fascinating experiences. It was then that I knew that I was where I belonged.
The following weeks were some of the best of my life. I took engaging and exciting math courses in the morning and participated in countless activities in the afternoon. The Meredith College campus that we were situated at provided us with opportunities to practice our serves out on the tennis courts and to swim some laps at the Olympic-sized pool. Whenever the weather permitted, one could find us out on the quad conversing during the afternoons and dancing and rocking it out at weekly dances and concerts. I knew for sure that there was no way that I could have ever spent my summer any better.
And so there's my summary of Summer 2009. I was able to make a myriad life-long friends and enjoyed experiences that I could not have enjoyed anywhere else. During those six weeks, I came out of my shell and had become a much more outgoing and social individual. I loved my six weeks at Governor's School and will always see them as a highlight and turning point of my life. My only hope is that this is what college will be like; a place where I can discover who I am and experience new things all growing both academically and socially within the learning environment of the ****.