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Big Shoes- Personal Statement


tkkt1 11 / 47  
Sep 26, 2009   #1
We are interested in learning more about you and the context in which you have grown up, formed your aspirations and accomplished your academic successes. Please describe the factors and challenges that have most shaped your personal life and aspirations. How have these factors caused you to grow? (800 word limit) *

"Didn't you know I didn't have shoes?"

But shoes were the least of his problems. Born in a different world and time, my dad did not have the luxuries that I had when he was a child. He walked barefoot to school, witnessed the death of his brother and sister, fled to Laos, lived in an internment camp for 10 years, and rebuilt a life for himself and his family in America.

I was destined to live in the war torn country of his childhood, but I was fortunate enough to escape his challenges at four months old. The 16 hour plane ride separated my poverty stricken nation from America- a land that seemed almost heavenly. We left behind a sense of disdain from dwelling in the horrid shantytowns of Vietnam and started anew with fresh feeling of optimism. But our life of constant and cruel hardships was not over.

I remember crying until the warm teardrops trickled down my cheeks and stained my pillow. It was late at night and like any child that just woken up from a nightmare, I wanted my parents comforting voice and touch. But they weren't home. Attempting to prevent their family from falling victim to the impoverished lifestyle that was all too prevalent in our native land, my parents delivered newspapers for meager pay. At three in the morning, I would finally hear the rustling of their foot steps coming home from an eight hour shift at three in the morning. Then it became quiet again as they slept a few hours and woke before sunrise to cater to my siblings and me. My parents sacrificed hours of sleep and many meals to ensure that I wouldn't have to.

But no amount of sacrificing would prevent my sister from inheriting Autosomal Dominant Nocturnal Epilepsy- a rare genetic disorder that causes frequent and violent seizures during sleep. I was confused- this wasn't part of the American dream. My family and I rose up out of oppressive conditions only to be encumbered by three defective genes. I felt naive, foolish and betrayed by my own sense of faith.

After her diagnosis, I spent many sleepless nights lying beside her afraid to close my eyes. What if I slept and didn't wake up to help her as she convulsed and gasped for air? As dusk encroached, our six year age gap became inconsequential. From ten pm to eight am, I was her guardian- the person who watched over her as she slept. With my eyes wide open, I stared into the dark thinking her disorder would cripple my parents' optimism and interminable sense of hope. But the severity of her diagnosis fell upon deaf ears.

My father never forgot that his fondest memories came from persevering in the face of adversity. Thus only days after my sister's diagnosis, my dad started his non-profit organization, a publishing business devoted to sustaining Vietnamese literature. He sought to achieve greater things to not only better himself, but those who found themselves in the subjugated circumstances of his native land. My father published, printed and produced their stories. But I also personally immortalized their memoirs, thoughts and beliefs word by word as I typed the novels of their lives. I felt that I had presented them with better prospects of rising above with each stroke of a key.

At a young age, I learned that the sweep of a fountain pen can be very powerful. However that was my dad's passion, I found my interest in the plastic buttons of my TI- 84 calculator. I had a natural penchant for math but my fascination grew stronger as I discovered that it was filled with glorious stories. But I could not rely on my parents as mentors to satiate my curiosity. Unlike my classmates, I had to search independently to reach my goals.

Although my parents have not always been present to guide me, they have managed to shape my personal outlook. I am certain that they would love to share every important moment of my life but I know what a sacrifice they are making for me in their absence. My parents are the cushions that break my fall as I push myself to take risks, to confront my fears, and to take control of my future. The whirlwind of memories from my life forever reminds me of that my dreams and aspirations originate from the solid foundation that is my family and heritage. I honor the lessons of my childhood everyday by pursuing my goals because I have big shoes to fill.

Word count: 763
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Sep 26, 2009   #2
I like this essay. It's personal, detailed, and sounds as if it comes from the heart. You become a bit vague at the end, though. The prompt asks you how your background has shaped your aspirations, so why not say what you aspire to accomplish by studying mathematics?
OP tkkt1 11 / 47  
Sep 26, 2009   #3
Okay, will do. Are there any grammar mistakes or other tense errors? Should I cut some of it? Thanks for the helpful input! Much appreciated!
rubeethursday - / 1  
Sep 27, 2009   #4
We are applying for the same scholarship haha.

"But I could not rely on my parents as mentors to satiate my curiosity. Unlike my classmates, I had to search independently to reach my goals."

This part was kinda confusing. Im not really sure what you're saying..What are your "goals"? How do you know your classmates didn't "search independently" for theirs? Usually it's good not to stereotype people in your essay.

But other than that I really liked your essay, very heartfelt. =)
Good luck!


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