A Senior in High School Needing Help on a UF Admissions Essay
lol. Very catchy thread title despite the apparent simplicity.
It was hard for me to leave my
friends in Nebraska behind --- This was probably just a typo...but still...
You write quite well. I feel that you did justice to the "meaningful event, experience..." part, but came up slightly short in the "affecting the college experience..." part. Consider this sentence
I feel that the person I am now would be a positive addition to the UF campus.
After reading this, my question would be, "How?"
From the anecdote you narrated, your best quality seems to be the ability to move on/ adapt to an unfamiliar environment.
So can you mention some ambitions which you want to fulfill in UF, some plans you want to execute, and all throughout helped by your innate qualities?
Haha...I think my last sentence doesn't make much sense. It looks weird.
I guess what you need to do is to be more specific about what you can contribute to the college community. Cut out the vague phrases like "positive influence."
Good luck! Your essay will come out great!