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'my biggest dream to live a life abroad' My family and my journey- UC; World you come from



riosons 2 / 2  
Nov 28, 2013   #1
Hi i'd like to know your thoughts about my essay.
Grammar check is also desidered, if you can... I'm Italian tho.

Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

My biggest dream is to live a life abroad. I want to meet new people, see new places and go through new experiences. Just the idea of travelling and discovering the world excites me. I have thrill of joy and i smile whenever I imagine myself with my backpack walking out of the airport doors ready to face a new adventure. At 16 years old I already wanted to open the doors to a new world by myself.

I was born in a family that educated me to respect and always help others. "All for one, one for all" is the motto of my family. We are a team made of fighters ready to battle and help each other, just like my mother says. She, like my father, has worked intensely for all these years to guarantee my older sister and I a happy life. She never stopped for a moment and she often returned home tired from working all day. Being away from home so much was a heavy price to pay, but she had a loving relationship with her children and her sacrifice allowed me to achieve my greatest desire. Travelling overseas.

Thus on September 2012 I left Italy and I spent a year as a foreign exchange student in Idaho where I discovered a new world. During the first three months after leaving home, my parents and I were usually able to skype only during the weekend because of the time zone difference. We talked two times per month and they constantly called me first because they wanted to know how their son was living his adventure on the other side of the world in a family that wasn't his. But one day I was the one who called them first. I felt the need to thank them for everything they did for me. I realized why the idea of travelling always excited me. I admired the serenity, the friendliness and the strong values that Americans hold but Italians unfortunately don't clearly have anymore. I understood that the teachings of respect and solidarity gained from my family were the same that America offered me. The United States reflected my family and so I was happy to have found myself in another country.

Once back in italy I clearly knew that living in America would be my ambition. I realized so that my life was going to go along a path far away from my home.

Now I am determined to attend college and study computer engineering. These next four years will be like buying a brick. My college experience will be one brick out of many that will allow me to build a building and become like my parents and to return them the help they gave me. Giving back to those who helped you just like they taught me.

alicia373 3 / 5  
Nov 28, 2013   #2
"We talked two times per month and they constantly called me first because they wanted to know how their son was living his adventure on the other side of the world in a family that wasn't his."

"My college experience will be one brick out of many that will allow me to build a building and become like my parents and to return them the help they gave me."

could be a little bit too long so you might want to make it into 2 sentences.
yennhihoang 5 / 9  
Nov 28, 2013   #3
parents and to return them the help they gave me.

Instead you could say: "...parents and to return the help they gave me."


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