2. What paid work experience have you had and what skills and/or knowledge did you gain?
It's only when you stand in that shaded courtyard amongst the shunned, their baleful eyes staring back at you. That you feel all their pain, their suffering, and in that moment you understand, clearer than ever before, why you stand here. It's not to rake up hours of voluntary service or for another certificate to impress University. It's those eyes that draw you back, the need to give them something that they may have never had before, watch hope spring from their dark pools. It's only then that you realize how someone can make all the difference in their lives.
I have had no paid work experience as such, but by visiting Dar-ul-Sakoon, an institution for the mentally handicapped, every Saturday, my perceptions of life began to alter, I started seeing things in a different light, unanswered questions began to arise. Today I would like to remember just one of the many special people I became acquainted with while at Dar-ul-Sakoon and how he moved me. His name was Maani.
Every Saturday I was his legs, for he could not walk. He sat there, paralyzed from the waist down, on his wheelchair; dependant on the world to push him. I showed him the world. His world.
Every Saturday I was his arms, for they were beyond his control. I grasped them to let him know, that I was there for him, and gave his wild swings direction by guiding them to the food before him.
Every Saturday I was his words, for he could not speak. I translated his short gasps of air and gave them meaning. Like a little child he desperately tried to converse with me; like a father I tried to understand him.
He made me realize how gifted we are, yet how thankless. Just the very look on his face taught me great humility, gratitude and contentment for what we have and our responsibility to devote time and money, to serve such humanity who have hearts and feelings much similar to ours. I saw him content in his empty world, yet I despised fate on his behalf. Maani made me stronger by realizing that despite all else, he possessed a quality that I could never attain; even though I could control my thoughts and actions, he could touch the soul of a perfect stranger.
Every Saturday he was my angel, as I searched for the god that deserted him.
I would apprecaite help with grammar and punctuations, also my second last paragraph could be revised in a better way. Critiques of any form are welcome...
I'd combine the first two sentences into one.
I like the repetition you used with "Every Saturday . . ."
I don't know that I'd bring God (or his absence) into it at the end, given that this is an university application essay, though there is nothing objectively wrong with it.
hey thanks alot for your help and critique, the last line is more of a general statement saying i haven't found answers to my questions or to the fact why there is so much suffering and how people are not exactly equal. It has nothing to do with gods absence as such, but yeah i do understand the point your trying to make...i probably revise it and remove the last line.
