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"Don't you see? Syracuse is Syracuse" - impact on my decision for choosing this university


juju070799 1 / -  
Sep 10, 2016   #1
Who or what influenced you to apply to Syracuse University?

"Don't you see? Syracuse is Syracuse." This was what I had told my mom when she had asked where the university was on our first day.

Although Syracuse is widely renowned for its tight-knit community, the reality far surpasses all expectations. Arriving at the school, I noticed that the students wore nothing but smiles as they walked through campus. My tour guide, whose birthday was on that day, was continuously greeted throughout by his peers. Whether it was to wish him a happy birthday, to say hello, or just to scream, "Come to Syracuse!" to all visitors while sporting orange, it confirmed what I already knew: Syracuse is not just a school. It is a home where everyone bleeds orange, and a home whose students are most definitely proud to be a part of. It is a home where students not only value one another, but care for one another. Syracuse is unity.

With a broad range of programs from their numerous unique schools, Syracuse has it all. It is a University that cannot only offer me the best education in the field I desire, but that also provides a wide array of other courses I may seek a future passion within. Syracuse is potential.

These are the reasons that influenced my decision to apply to Syracuse University.Why would I choose to go anywhere else, if I can choose to go to a school that offers me the best in both the communal and academic aspects of the college experience?

PHA2016 39 / 62 4  
Sep 11, 2016   #2
Hello juju, in my opinion, your writing need to be writing style such us, the word "Don't you see? Do not you see?

Arriving at the school

My tour guide, whose who birthday

home whose where students

but that also provides a wide array of other courses I may seek a future passion within

Hai Juju, it was good writing but there few suggestion to you, attention for using the conjunction wh clause (adjective clause).
Krishnendu999 - / 2 1  
Sep 11, 2016   #3
This sounds more like a university Flyer. Not sure about the purpose of the essay, but if you are looking for graduate admission to specific department, I feel you must add more on the academic excellence along with few details from specific teachers. The essay itself is fine but needs complimentary info to make it more sensible. I feel at the current stage it's more of a college flyer :)
thphuong1911 4 / 5  
Sep 12, 2016   #4
Hello,
For my opinion, you should use more academic words in your essay. The jury will appreciate that
for your essay's content, you should focus on what influenced on your decision, the reason why you choose Syracuse university, what will Syracuse university give you.


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