Here's the prompt:
Sculptor Jacques Lipchitz once said, "Cubism is like standing at a certain point on a mountain and looking around. If you go higher, things will look different; if you go lower, again they will look different. It is a point of view." With this in mind, describe a moment when your perspective changed.
Notes:
Please help me check if there is any more grammar mistakes. And overall, does my essay answer the question well? Is there any structural problems?
~~~Thank you so much~~~
My essay :
On the coast of Bohaiwan lies my hometown, a laid-back fishing village where sea breeze sways and air purifies the sky. My most precious memory was imprinted there. I was about eight then. It was a fine night, and we all sat in the backyard of my grandparents' house, adults chattering something that us kids would never understand. I lifted up my head. The instant I saw the night sky, something held my breath. The Galaxy! Its splendid swirl cuddled so many stars, all clear and bright and were blinking briskly to me. I had never seen such a spectacle! My little head was infatuated. I wondered about that untouched cosmo so far away and mysterious. What was in there? Where does it starts and ends? How do I look when looked down at from the stars? I was so involved in thinking about these that I forgot about my stiff neck and the chilling down night.
It was at that moment that my perspective began to shift. I realized that I was not the center of the cosmos, and my life was not about parents, grandparents, and school. No, not at all. There is something out there. So tempting, and so splendid and just waiting for me to uncover. I learned to look at this world with awe, and recognize that human beings are so humble in this grand universe.
Later in my life, I keep discovering the new Galaxies. I was amazed, my former beliefs challenged, but eagerly I moved on with great awe and anxiety. I love to feel that my life is expanding, and new sceneries keep crushing in. I became aware of the Thirld World's existence. I stirred and wished to gather my strength and help; I learned that the sea shares 80% of the Earth with us, and I'm eager to meet the magical marine creatures; I stepped outside of China, met foreigners with distinct visions, and was fascinated by how diverse the world culture is. And most beautifully, I know that I could purse the education in the United States. A new continent flowing with possibilities. A new Galaxy where I can explore myself, and the world. (1982)
Sculptor Jacques Lipchitz once said, "Cubism is like standing at a certain point on a mountain and looking around. If you go higher, things will look different; if you go lower, again they will look different. It is a point of view." With this in mind, describe a moment when your perspective changed.
Notes:
Please help me check if there is any more grammar mistakes. And overall, does my essay answer the question well? Is there any structural problems?
~~~Thank you so much~~~
My essay :
On the coast of Bohaiwan lies my hometown, a laid-back fishing village where sea breeze sways and air purifies the sky. My most precious memory was imprinted there. I was about eight then. It was a fine night, and we all sat in the backyard of my grandparents' house, adults chattering something that us kids would never understand. I lifted up my head. The instant I saw the night sky, something held my breath. The Galaxy! Its splendid swirl cuddled so many stars, all clear and bright and were blinking briskly to me. I had never seen such a spectacle! My little head was infatuated. I wondered about that untouched cosmo so far away and mysterious. What was in there? Where does it starts and ends? How do I look when looked down at from the stars? I was so involved in thinking about these that I forgot about my stiff neck and the chilling down night.
It was at that moment that my perspective began to shift. I realized that I was not the center of the cosmos, and my life was not about parents, grandparents, and school. No, not at all. There is something out there. So tempting, and so splendid and just waiting for me to uncover. I learned to look at this world with awe, and recognize that human beings are so humble in this grand universe.
Later in my life, I keep discovering the new Galaxies. I was amazed, my former beliefs challenged, but eagerly I moved on with great awe and anxiety. I love to feel that my life is expanding, and new sceneries keep crushing in. I became aware of the Thirld World's existence. I stirred and wished to gather my strength and help; I learned that the sea shares 80% of the Earth with us, and I'm eager to meet the magical marine creatures; I stepped outside of China, met foreigners with distinct visions, and was fascinated by how diverse the world culture is. And most beautifully, I know that I could purse the education in the United States. A new continent flowing with possibilities. A new Galaxy where I can explore myself, and the world. (1982)