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Bowdoin essay - The Common Good does not have just one, single definition.

Emilydm 1 / -  
Sep 9, 2015   #1
I am applying to Bowdoin College, which is a liberal arts school in Maine. They require a supplemental essay with the prompt:

Bowdoin students and alumni often cite world-class faculty and opportunities for intellectual engagement, the College's commitment to the Common Good, and the special quality of life on the coast of Maine as important aspects of the Bowdoin experience. Reflecting on your own interests and experiences, please select and respond to one of the following topics:(200-250 words)

-The Common Good
-Intellectual engagement
-connection to place

Here is what I wrote:

[The Common Good does not have just one, single definition. Actually, it doesn't have a definition at all. It goes without intention or motive. You cannot tell yourself, " today I am going to embody the Common Good by helping someone" because it would no longer be an act of the Common Good. It would be a good deed. That is it.

The Common Good is genuine and pure. It is unknowingly making someone smile. It is being there for someone day in and day out without thinking about things you could be doing otherwise. It is finding your passion in life and sharing it with others.

You cannot teach it. Those who spend years searching for it, cannot find it. One cannot even tell if you are practicing it. No, the Common Good isn't found with in anyone. But, with time, the Common Good will come to those who deserve it.]

**I was wondering if this is too broad or vague. This is the first thing I thought to write about and I feel good about the idea. I am just wondering if it isnt what this prompt is asking for. Or if it even makes sense to anyone else. Should I add more? Grammatical errors?
lcturn87 - / 435 236  
Sep 10, 2015   #2
I would like to help you with your essay. I think that "common good" should be in all lowercase letters throughout this essay.

When I first read your essay, I was confused by this statement: Actually, it doesn't have a definition at all. . This will be confusing to your reader because you are trying to define it. Also, I looked in my dictionary and can't find the definition. However, more recent editions may define it. I think you are right when you describe it as having multiple meanings. The definition you are describing is what I would consider as selfless. A person is trying to benefit others through his or her actions.

There are few mistakes in grammar. In the second paragraph, place a comma after "out". In the third paragraph, you should delete the space between "within". Also, I would suggest replacing But with "However".

Here is what you really need to answer this prompt:
You should reflect on your own interests and experiences and discuss how you have demonstrated a commitment to the common good. Hint: The college's commitment is to the common good. They want to see if you are a good fit or if there college is right for you. If you decide to keep any of the information I have previously written, you can make the corrections as stated previously.

I hope this helps you!
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Sep 15, 2015   #3
- The Common Good does not have justonly one,...
- ...act of the Common Good.

- The Common Good is genuine and pure.
- It is being there for someone, ( don't forget your punctuation marks) day...

- ...found with inwithin (this is one word) anyone.
- ButHowever , with time, the Common Good..

A few more things;

- I believe "Common Good" should be written as "common good"
- the essay is quiet vague, I know you can write more.

I hope the remarks I made helps.

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