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Brandeis Essay- Would you rather be raised by dinosaurs, aliens or robots?



kszhang1393 1 / -  
Jan 15, 2011   #1
I wake up every morning and start my checklist of mundane activities for the day; shower-check, brush my teeth-check, eat breakfast-half check, and make it to homeroom with thirty seconds to spare-check. During the day, I live from bell to bell, it starts and ends class. Each night I go back and complete the checklist in my head; homework-check, learn something new-check, learn something exciting- sometimes. I rarely find myself checking everything on my list, occasionally I'll miss the homework check or the breakfast check, but I rarely check learn something exciting. In the humdrum of daily life I can't help but imagine the possibilities of being raised by some other life form. I often think of robots, aliens and dinosaurs but quickly cross robots and dinosaurs off since, robots are manmade and have no emotions and dinosaurs are solely driven on instinct and lived in harsh trying times, leaving behind aliens. If I were raised by aliens, I would have the ultimate privilege in imagining my life. An alien society is imaginary therefore I can establish and destroy as I please. An alien society would be full of emotions, unlike a society of robots, and would use intellect for actions, unlike that of dinosaurs. An alien society would also be self-sufficient, instead of the man driven robot society, and would also be established in a safe non-hostile environment. But most importantly an alien society would unlock the chains of civilization and allow its members freedom from society.

not really sure about the ending.

thank you

mbirabaharan 2 / 8  
Jan 15, 2011   #2
Content wise, I enjoyed the beginning, but as you said the ending is a bit, huh? And as for the checklists having you present yourself as someone who barely makes it to school and sometimes does homework may have a detrimental effect on you, possibly change those? As for the ending say something how aliens would present you new perspectives and experiences that will greatly help in your growth as an individual. Allow you to be light years ahead of everyone else
Anonymoussenior 17 / 124  
Jan 15, 2011   #3
During the day, I live from bell to bell; it starts and ends class.

In the humdrum of daily life, I can't help but imagine the possibilities of being raised by some other life form.

I often think of robots, aliens, and dinosaurs, but I quickly cross robots and dinosaurs off since, robots are manmade and have no emotions and dinosaurs are solely driven on instinct and lived in harsh, trying times. In the end, I am left with aliens.

An alien society is imaginary; therefore, I can establish and destroy as I please.

You began 3 of the last 4 sentences with An alien society
I think you need to talk more about why you want to be raised by aliens - examples are- space travel, breaking the laws of gravity, being green/ different in a society that is culturally diverse. Out of this world knowledge, your own language etc.

otherwise good essay but I think you can cut out some of the into and talk more about what the prompt is asking. Please read my Wellesley essay it is due today.


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