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"brilliant minds" - Yale essay, something we haven't already gathered from CommonApp



chuchugaga 1 / -  
Oct 4, 2010   #1
I've always taken my academics with a pinch of salt.

Great. That's set the alarm bells ringing in your head. I can see the metaphorical red flag being hoisted up already. But I haven't pulled any punches in my application yet, so why start now?

I'm not devaluing education. Make no mistake; I think education is one of the best things that can ever happen to you. The country I come from is a testament to the stark realities of illiteracy. But I've always been a bit skeptical about what I've been taught at school. I'm a great advocator of independent thought, and that is something, I feel, schools have stifled.

Why believe Messrs Freud and Marx, when you can form your own ideologies? Why subscribe to the views of Johnson and Lewis, when you can have your own? I find arguing a case for Mrs. Jones' lawsuit in Thinking Skills class more mentally stimulating than recalling the equations of motion in Physics or the structure of dinitrophenyl hydrazine in Chemistry. Recalling is what Google is for. We are not Google. We're human beings; we can think for ourselves.

At school, I see people my age: every day, they clock in, they clock out; they come to class ten minutes early; they spend recess in the library; they use free classes to solve intricate math problems from the day before. They get nothing less than an A in all their tests. Ask them a simple logic question requiring a bit of creativity and imagination - boom. They're stumped.

Study hard, they say. Get the grades. Get into college. Graduate. Get a job. Earn money. Be happy.

Who ever came up with that ludicrous system? And why should we believe them? There are millions, if not billions, of people who are all too happy to patronize that vicious cycle their entire lives, without ever reaching the Promised Land. Has no one ever stopped once, and wondered, "Wait a minute, something's wrong. This doesn't seem to be working"?

You may be inclined to think, "Who does this kid think he is? How dare he challenge the norms and conventions of our times, the natural order of things?" And I ask you: if not me, then who? And if not now, when?

Then why college, I hear you ask. Because I need a map. But just the map, please. I'll do the trekking myself. Sure, I may take a few wrong turns; but the path least travelled by is also the most rewarding. Put me in a class that teaches how to make a cookie, and I'll wind up making a cake, simply because, well, everyone else is doing the cookies. Sure, the cake may not be the best in the world, but there's nothing sweeter than the work of a nonconformist. Well, expect Jolly Ranchers, that is. I've never been much of a leader; but my word, I've never been much of a follower either.

So why Yale? I think it's fair to say that Yale houses some of the most brilliant minds in the world. I want to prove to my friends, my peers, my parents, my teachers - and to you - that great minds don't always translate to great grades, and vice versa. I want to prove how superficial the entire concept is. Intellectual ability simply cannot be quantified (are you listening, Mensa?).

By now, this essay may have ruffled a few feathers, or struck a chord. It may even be half-way to the shredder. But you know how Fleming discovered penicillin? He found potential in what most people would've dismissed as trash.

mea505 - / 265  
Oct 4, 2010   #2
So, you want to be a free thinker! Is that what this is all about? I agree with you, in that the route to and from college should not only be about getting a job after graduation, but that is how the world in which we live works! Everyone, or almost everyone who is attending some sort of higher education program today is doing so because he or she thinks that by doing so, the job after graduation has his or her name on it.

You mention Mensa in your essay. Are you a member?

I wonder if everyone who reads your essay will come away from the text with the same thoughts. I wonder if I am moving away from your essay with the same thoughts you had when you decided to put paper to pen.

I didn't see anything grossly wrong with the grammar in the essay, but I am more interested in what it is you are saying in the essay. You mention that we should not be Google, so we should not merely spit out what we learn, but we should become free thinkers from the information we do learn. I did catch what you said about Freud, by the way, as well as Marx. Do you really think that they were two free thinkers? Great thinkers?

I have not seen any of your work in the forum in the past, and I don't know who you are, as you did not sign your essay; but I would like to see more of your work in the future.

--Mark :)
simbamaxxed 5 / 59  
Oct 4, 2010   #3
chuchugaga,

Personally,I LOVE your essay.You are a talented and intelligent writer.However,it's obviously a risk that could produce a disastrous or delightful outcome,depending on the feelings of the reader.

I'm guessing you did A Level Chemistry(by the ref to 2,4 dinitrophenylhydrazine).The paragraph containing this and similar references was very humorous!

some pointers though...

Your opening(I've always taken my academics with a pinch of salt. ) can make you appear indifferent.Do you think maybe you could alter it slightly?

The following references:
-Has no one ever stopped once, and wondered, "Wait a minute, something's wrong. This doesn't seem to be working"?

-Who ever came up with that ludicrous system?

-Put me in a class that teaches how to make a cookie, and I'll wind up making a cake, simply because, well, everyone else is doing the cookies.

-Ask them a simple logic question requiring a bit of creativity and imagination - boom. They're stumped.

-Study hard, they say. Get the grades. Get into college. Graduate. Get a job. Earn money. Be happy.(quite sarcastic here)

These have an overall effect of making you sound as though you feel superior to others and are dismissing them as unthinking individuals.

Haning said that,If were an admissions officer,I'd accept you,mostly because I also believe in your message.However,to someone with a contrary or neutral opinion,this could make you appear high-minded and leave a negative impression of you.

Good luck,I really hope you get in !


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