I want to bring my creativity and diversity to Yale because Yale is the right place for me.

Why does Yale appeal to you? (100 words or less)

When I graduated secondary school, I went into retailing of male clothes and accessories to have an understanding of finance. I want a school that will give me opportunities to create, work in teams and share my interests without boundaries. Like the new course introduced to Yale CS department: introduction to information systems and the joint CS50 with Harvard will offer me opportunities to share my ideas, explore my interests and apply them to real world focus. I want to bring my creativity and diversity to Yale because Yale is the right place for me.

Chizy, the essay really sounds good at this point. You have really thought about the reasons why you wish to attend Yale. However, I feel that the work can be further improved if you mention when you first gave thought to attending Yale. What were you doing when you first heard about the university and its programs? How does this relate to your future goals? When I think of the question "Why does Yale appeal to you?" I think of my future and the goals that I have for myself. Goals that Yale can help me achieve. So instead of just mentioning a "real world focus", mention instead what focus that will be. So I think that, if you wish to, you can revise the first couple of sentences in your response to reflect when you first heard about Yale, your future goals, and how the Yale experience can help you make that goal a reality. Those are the reasons why Yale appeals to you. Don't discuss what you have to offer Yale as that is not being asked for in the essay and just takes away precious word count that can be used strengthening other aspects of your statement. Concentrate on creating a stronger response to the question.

Hi Chizaram, first of all, I must say, Good JOB! in finding and being courageous in choosing such a prestigious institution, one of the best there is in the market today, they have made there mark in the World of Academe and you will never go wrong, bearing the name of the institution in your future credentials.

Moving on, I would like to add a few suggestions to enhance your essay.

- When I graduated secondary school, I went into the business of retailing
- of male clothes and accessories
- to have an understanding of the world of finance.
- I want a schoolbelieve in an institution that will give
- me the opportunities to create,
- boundaries. Like, just like the new course
- introduced to Yale CS department: the introduction
- will offer me opportunities to share my ideas,
- explore my interests and apply them toin the real world focus .
- I want towill bring my creativity and
- diversity to Yale because Yale is the rightthe institution where I belongplace for me .

There you have it Chizaram, I hope the above remarks and corrections are helpful and the Best of Luck to you and do let us know what comes out of this application, we'd love to hear from you.

Thank you @Holt and @justivy03 I appreciate your feedback and I will let you know what comes out of this application