Grammatical editing would be greatly appreciated! :) Also, do you feel that this flows, and do I sound genuine? Many thanks - will edit essays in return :)
Brown is the true definition of a liberal arts education. Having such a wide variety of interests, I find myself frustrated when confined to a single branch of study. Having to choose a sole subject area that you are passionate about instead of having the freedom to choose all of them is limiting. I believe that people can be passionate about more than one thing, and that is where my views align so perfectly with Brown's. Brown encourages students to explore new things, and being an avidly curious individual, I would take full advantage of Francis Wayland's philosophy "study what he chose, all that he chose, and nothing but what he chose". If Brown gave me the opportunity to join its elite student population, I would combine my passions of science and music to create my own niche within the Brown community; I could structure my education to suit my interests instead of structuring my interests to suit my education. In summation, I would use my time at Brown to learn not only about the branches of study that intrigue me, but also to learn about my interests, my passions, and myself.
Ruxandra, I would appreciate being able to read the complete prompt for this essay when you have the time to post it. Just to make sure that the review I will be giving you is accurate. So far though, the essay seems to be more than responding to the prompt. You have provided a clear idea as to what makes Brown the specific choice for your major in a general manner. Which is acceptable at this point since I have yet to consider the essay prompt in the review. As for the flow, it does sound genuine so you need not worry about that. You sound like you have a deep understanding and interest in the inner workings of Brown and its academic capacity. It shows in your work. Now all we have to do is make sure that your response did not miss anything in the prompt requirements, if at all :-)
@vangiespen
Thank you so much! :) And the complete prompt was "Why Brown?" which is quite open ended, so I wasn't quite sure which direction i wanted to take it. I wanted to focus on making it genuine and demonstrating that I already have an idea for what I would do at Brown.
And just clarifying - my grammar is all good, right? No run on sentences or anything like that? :p
Your essay and the way you wrote it is fine. It is grammatically correct, although I would advice you not to say "In summation" at the end because it makes the essay sound like a research paper that you will be submitting for a grade. The general reasons that you give for opting to enroll at Brown, if given an opportunity, presents the image that you already know the direction that your studies will be taking and how you plan on executing those plans for academic achievement. Overall, I don't believe that I can fault the essay in terms of content and structure. The only problem that might arise is if you are somehow over the word limit provided for the prompt. I don't think you have that problem though.
