Please be harsh in your critique, grammatically, structurally, and content-wise. Thank you
Q:Tell us about the academic areas that interest you most and your reasons for applying to Brown.
A: My reasons for applying to Brown are far too numerous to list in this small space. Instead, I will relate a strange occurrence I have labeled "The Brown Phenomenon" and what it means to me. Whenever people inquired into my first choice, I responded: Brown. The phenomenon most usually occurred at this point, almost imperceptibly, a twitch of the eye, a slight jerk, a sharp intake of breath, perhaps even an exclamation. Every person had a response to the name Brown, and with each twitch, jerk, and exclamation, my interest in the college deepened. I decided the catch was the reaction-had I named any other college, the reply would be as follows: "Oh yes, that's a good university." No. That lackluster response was not for me. I want the revolutionary college that does not follow all the rules, encourages students to take initiative and design their own education, teaches them to defy conventional thinking and boldly innovate, and, most interestingly, allows them to play Tetris on their science library. When I visited Brown, several students I questioned reiterated one point, "Brown is what you make of it." This concept excited me because it was an open-ended challenge, one that gave me the responsibility of filling in the blank. Finally, my visit proved to me that Brown students possessed a simple but important quality: friendliness. A very social person myself, I am keen on attending a college where my education comes from both faculty and peers. The open curriculum, freedom of education, and the friendliness and willingness of the students in answering my questions, proved one thing: Brown was the place for me.
Q:Tell us about the academic areas that interest you most and your reasons for applying to Brown.
A: My reasons for applying to Brown are far too numerous to list in this small space. Instead, I will relate a strange occurrence I have labeled "The Brown Phenomenon" and what it means to me. Whenever people inquired into my first choice, I responded: Brown. The phenomenon most usually occurred at this point, almost imperceptibly, a twitch of the eye, a slight jerk, a sharp intake of breath, perhaps even an exclamation. Every person had a response to the name Brown, and with each twitch, jerk, and exclamation, my interest in the college deepened. I decided the catch was the reaction-had I named any other college, the reply would be as follows: "Oh yes, that's a good university." No. That lackluster response was not for me. I want the revolutionary college that does not follow all the rules, encourages students to take initiative and design their own education, teaches them to defy conventional thinking and boldly innovate, and, most interestingly, allows them to play Tetris on their science library. When I visited Brown, several students I questioned reiterated one point, "Brown is what you make of it." This concept excited me because it was an open-ended challenge, one that gave me the responsibility of filling in the blank. Finally, my visit proved to me that Brown students possessed a simple but important quality: friendliness. A very social person myself, I am keen on attending a college where my education comes from both faculty and peers. The open curriculum, freedom of education, and the friendliness and willingness of the students in answering my questions, proved one thing: Brown was the place for me.
