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"Bump in the road", Hide and Seek - for Central Florida Application



dkinny23 2 / 5  
Oct 14, 2009   #1
For Univeristy of Central Florida, you need two essays, both combined to have under 500 words, so this is supposed to be short. The question I am answering is to explain a "bump in the road" and describe the circumstances. Is this good/bad/boring/entertaining/not enough....please, any commentary will help me! thank you. I want to try and send out this application tonight if possible!

Hide and Seek

When I was 7, my brother had broken his foot and was on crutches for 6 months. Most people would say that this "bump in the road" pertains to my brother. However, I learned something from this experience that changed the course of my life.

My dad had moved in to the house of my soon to be step mother, Marion. She thought it would be funny to hide my brothers crutches. As my brother was struggling and crawling all over the house, Marion, her 5 kids, and my dad were laughing and making fun of him. It broke my heart to see how someone so heroic to me could be so physically helpless. While only being 7, and not used to standing up to adults, I decided to call my mother to tell her what was happening. My step mom's family was mad that I stopped their "fun." What I learned from that day was that it is not always correct to do what everyone else is doing, but to go beyond the limits that people always thinks they have, and do something extraordinary.

OP dkinny23 2 / 5  
Oct 14, 2009   #2
someone please give me input, I would like to send this out today and my mom is coming to read this for the first time in about 1/2 hour. I don't want to show her this if it is completely off or doesn't fulfill the task. Thanks everyone!
EF_Sean 6 / 3460  
Oct 14, 2009   #3
Not bad, actually. My main issue is that this happened when you were 7. It would be nice if you could build on this and talk about how it had inspired you to do things you could talk about that have happened a bit more recently, and that show how you would be a good university student.
OP dkinny23 2 / 5  
Oct 15, 2009   #4
thanks for the advice, im working on the essay now=]


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