"the bustling cafe" - Common App- Significant Experience

(I'm answering the Common App prompt about a significant experience.)

This is the 2nd paragraph from my essay about a dramatic, soul-searching experience that took place while I was trying to find an essay topic. I would like some help on how to re-phrase this. Thanks!

"After an hour drive up the turnpike, a cab ride to Union Square, and an escalator two flights up, I arrived in the bustling café. My Dad, sister, and I sat down with Chelsea, my essay writing tutor. Chelsea started by asking basic questions about where I want to go to school, my grades, all things that I was able to answer confidently. Then she started asking more detailed questions about my personality. I felt nervous and it was not easy for me, because she would always ask me "why" and other questions that I didn't really have an answer for. Then out of nowhere, she asked my family to leave. I was less at ease, but I was able to answer honestly without my family hearing my feelings and opinions."

so you're writing an essay where you had to see an essay writing tutor?

this could be thought of as weird.

but in terms of improving it, your opening sentence doesn't flow.
and maybe it should be a bustling cafe, not "the".

"where I want to go to school, my grades, all things that I was able to answer confidently.", i think you should remove the comma between school and my grades. changing it to "where I want to go to school and my grades, all things that I was able to answer confidently."

the sentence where you say, i felt nervous and it was not easy for me, should be rearranged. Maybe take out "and" and replace it with "because". Then remove because from the next fragment and just start out with she.