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Their cages were so tiny. I knew things needed to change. Extracurricular activities essay



mellowmelon 1 / -  
Dec 26, 2014   #1
Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below. (Minimum 50 words, Maximum 75 words)

Their cages were so tiny. I could hear whimpers and tiny barks of animals within the confinements of their tiny plastic carriers. There was no space to roam, to run free... They were forced to sit in their own waste until we came around to clean. I had never felt so ashamed to be human. It was because of us that such beautiful creatures were suffering like this. I knew things needed to change.

Any advice? The word limit is so constraining...

vangiespen - / 4077  
Dec 26, 2014   #2
Jackie, don't think about the word count when working on your draft. Keeping track of the word count is what has left your statement hanging without any particular direction nor information about your extra curricular activity. My suggestion is that you write about 150 - 200 words describing your extra curricular activity, post it here, then we can help you whittle it down to 75 words or less. If you try to stay within the word count while drafting the essay, you will be giving yourself and the reviewer a hard time in editing the work. Go overly long if you have to, it can always be edited down :-)
Ghfdw17 6 / 20  
Dec 26, 2014   #3
From what I understood, your extracurricular is about volunteering in animal shelters? You need to focus on the activity, not the anecdote. For 75 words you don't have the luxury for anecdotes, get straight to the point.

Hope I helped :)


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