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There are many things I wish I knew, but most of all I wish I knew the future.

Anonymoussenior 17 / 133  
Jan 1, 2011   #1
I Need Help deciding which short essay is better- Wake Forest

Which essay is better? They both need more added to them but I don't know which one I should continue and I am kinda stuck on what more I should say.

7. I wish I knew...

I wish I knew you. Right now you are reading my file with everything from my birthday to my social security number. You know my name, my address, my phone number and every class I have ever taken in high school. You know what extracurricular activities I took part in, and what I aspire to be. You know my GPA and my SAT score. You know everything about the last four years of my life, and I don't even know your name. You know so much about me, but I wish I knew you.

I don't know what else to add to this so if you have any ideas please let me know.

There are many things I wish I knew, but most of all I wish I knew the future. If I knew the future, I could warn a country before a famine strikes and kills millions of people. I could forsee an upcoming war and stop it years before the proposal makes it to congress. I could have prevented our current economic crisis and saved many famlies from foreclosure. I could warn people about the damages todays pollution will cause. I could know the cure for cancer before more people have to suffer. I could stop future pandemics and catastrophies from occurring. If I could tell the future, I would take everyones pain and suddering away.
saf109 - / 1  
Jan 1, 2011   #2
I don't know if the first one is a good idea, because this sort of means you don't really know about the college, b/c you haven't researched enough so you don't have a strong reason for applying.
OP Anonymoussenior 17 / 133  
Jan 1, 2011   #3
Completely New Essay Please Edit it is due in two hours

I wish I knew why people are more willing to fight than actually talk about their differences. I wish I knew why republicans and democrats cannot agree to disagree and realize the validity of each other's arguments. I wish I knew why we are still in a war that should have never begun. I wish I knew why some people are unwilling to help a stranger when their down. I wish I knew why our loved ones have to die. I wish I knew why people hurt each other. I wish I knew what happened to the United States of America where everyone was acceped and loved one another despite their views and outer appearance. I wish I knew when I stopped envisioning the world through a nieve childs eyes. I wish I knew why I suddenly see so much anger and hatred in the world. I guess I just grew up.
swoosh18 4 / 40  
Jan 1, 2011   #4
I love the third one but I'm not sure about the last sentence.

Please read my essays because they also due in two hours. :)
OP Anonymoussenior 17 / 133  
Jan 1, 2011   #5
Do you have any ideas for a better way to end this essay then?
turntablespp 6 / 41  
Jan 1, 2011   #6
I think the ending are fine for these essays! concise and to the point.

Can you read my upenn essay :)
yeabuddi 1 / 2  
Jan 1, 2011   #7
I would go with the third one. Strongest argument, and most eye-catching.

I understand where you were going with the first one, but with the time constraint, the third one is your best bet.

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