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"Call to action, saving the ocean" UC prompt 2



mkpakva 1 / 3  
Oct 21, 2009   #1
This is an answer to the prompt about an accomplishment that I am proud of and how it reflects my character.

We walked down the long stretch of sand at Our beach. We call it Our beach cause it's always empty, probably because of the incredibly long walk, lucky for us nobody realizes the walk is worth the waves. Then I saw it, a dead seal. Lying there, bloated and rotting. The smell was the first thing that hit us. And we thought today was going to be a great day for surfing.

I called animal control and they arrived a half an hour later. They found my four friends and I covered up with our blankets and towels trying to avoid the smell. The animal control officer asked us to help us him lift the dead carcass into the truck. We unwillingly complied, putting on latex gloves before touching the rotting carcass. I was ready to forget about the tragic ordeal as a freak occurrence, until the officer told me the probable cause of death was pollution, which was clear from the young age and the fact that there were no signs of struggle on the body. My first reaction was disbelief, the idea that the water I always swim in surf in was so polluted as to kill a seal was incomprehensible. My second reaction was sadness; I was sad that our society could be so blind as to the harm it was doing to the ocean.

That day I saw the ocean dying; I saw the manifestation of the harm that our society has cause to the ocean. Runoff, pollutants, toxins they had always been just words and pointless warnings to me. Seeing a young seal, dead as a result of the shortcomings of my community, was a call for action. I was angry, I have always loved the ocean and been fascinated by the creatures in it; to see our society ruthlessly destroy what I loved was too much.

I did not know where to start. So I started small, I made a group with a friend called Ocean Humanity, with a modest goal of performing beach cleanups. Wes lowly grew, and became more active in our community. Performing cleanups and awareness campaigns. We worked closely with Surfrider foundation to educate the community on what simple things they could do to make a difference. We would get up on Saturday mornings and go surfing, and then go cleanup the beach. People I never thought would come to a beach cleanup showed up early on Saturday mornings to throw on some gloves and pick up cigarette butts from the beach.

Ocean Humanity combined all the things I loved, surfing, the environment, and my friends. Seeing my friends and peers come out to help a cause that I feel passionately about is awesome. It really makes me happy to know that I have made a difference. And hopefully in the long run the rest of my community can join in helping save our oceans.

lilbrunette275 1 / 3  
Oct 21, 2009   #2
Great essay!

A suggestion as I was reading over this:

"So I started small; I made a group with a friend called Ocean Humanity, with a modest goal of performing beach cleanups."
EF_Stephen - / 262  
Oct 21, 2009   #3
This is good, but there are some errors that make it not quite perfect. Read it out loud to yourself and you'll see what I mean.
OP mkpakva 1 / 3  
Oct 23, 2009   #4
Thanks guys, I am trying to correct all the small mistakes.=]
Is the content good; does it reveal my intentions and how I feel?
EF_Stephen - / 262  
Oct 23, 2009   #5
The content is fine.Yes it does reveal your intentions quite well. Your enthusiasm is clear too. The problem is just with the small things, as has been pointed out.


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