hey please help me edit this essay! (the bold words are the ones that i need help on the most) but also any help would be awesome! thanks!
Please write an essay (250-500 words) on a topic of your choice or on one of the options listed below. This personal essay helps us to become acquainted with you as a person and student, apart from courses, grades, test scores, and other objective data. It will also demonstrate your ability to organize your thoughts and express yourself.
Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
In 2001, my mother, my older brother, and I came to the United States from Taipei, Taiwan, not knowing any English. Before taking off on a twenty-one hour fight, I had a difficult decision to make: whether to leave seven years of my childhood life behind and follow my family to the United States or to stay in Taiwan with my grandparents; I took the difficult route by leaving my childhood memories behind. With only two small suitcases full of childhood memories, such as my favorite pillowcase with a green cartoon frog smiling back at me when I lay my head down, I was off. (I feel like this sentence needs work but idk how to fix it..HELP!) On the way to the airport, my heart was pumping faster than the engine of the yellow taxi. I kept on wondering if I had left behind anything that was important. With the thought of a new life just twenty-one hours away, I was intrigued; I wondered what it would be like to live in America and how I would master the new language of English. (needs to reword???) As I boarded the plane, leaving the unbearable heat of a hundred degrees, I stared out the dirty window; I saw my childhood memories flashed before my eyes as the plane few passed my house. My brother and I left our old lives behind; we were excited to see the new world ahead of us. On the longest flight of our lives, we sat in the soft seats in the coach section and chose our American names from popular television shows; I selected "Jerry" from Tom and Jerry and my brother, XXX, selected "Kevin" from the movie Home Alone. We needed nicknames that were easier to say in America. When we arrived in the United States, we saw a snowy, frigid runway in Chicago. The culture I left was as different from the United States as the weather was that day. I was clueless about everything from reading signs to understanding the flight attendant's instructions. Maybe it was good that I was only seven years old because I did not have any expectations. It was a long, difficult journey, but I eventually mastered the new language and made a smooth transition into my new life in America.
Please write an essay (250-500 words) on a topic of your choice or on one of the options listed below. This personal essay helps us to become acquainted with you as a person and student, apart from courses, grades, test scores, and other objective data. It will also demonstrate your ability to organize your thoughts and express yourself.
Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
In 2001, my mother, my older brother, and I came to the United States from Taipei, Taiwan, not knowing any English. Before taking off on a twenty-one hour fight, I had a difficult decision to make: whether to leave seven years of my childhood life behind and follow my family to the United States or to stay in Taiwan with my grandparents; I took the difficult route by leaving my childhood memories behind. With only two small suitcases full of childhood memories, such as my favorite pillowcase with a green cartoon frog smiling back at me when I lay my head down, I was off. (I feel like this sentence needs work but idk how to fix it..HELP!) On the way to the airport, my heart was pumping faster than the engine of the yellow taxi. I kept on wondering if I had left behind anything that was important. With the thought of a new life just twenty-one hours away, I was intrigued; I wondered what it would be like to live in America and how I would master the new language of English. (needs to reword???) As I boarded the plane, leaving the unbearable heat of a hundred degrees, I stared out the dirty window; I saw my childhood memories flashed before my eyes as the plane few passed my house. My brother and I left our old lives behind; we were excited to see the new world ahead of us. On the longest flight of our lives, we sat in the soft seats in the coach section and chose our American names from popular television shows; I selected "Jerry" from Tom and Jerry and my brother, XXX, selected "Kevin" from the movie Home Alone. We needed nicknames that were easier to say in America. When we arrived in the United States, we saw a snowy, frigid runway in Chicago. The culture I left was as different from the United States as the weather was that day. I was clueless about everything from reading signs to understanding the flight attendant's instructions. Maybe it was good that I was only seven years old because I did not have any expectations. It was a long, difficult journey, but I eventually mastered the new language and made a smooth transition into my new life in America.
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