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Hotels in Taipei, Taiwan: need help on transitions between paragraphs.


Kellychen1125 1 / 3  
Apr 9, 2010   #1
Hello,

I am a new member. I am writing a classification essay. I need help on transition between pargrahps or others suggestions in this essay. Thank you.

Topic: Hotels in Taipei, Taiwan

There are 35,000 hotels in Taipei, the largest city in Taiwan. People spend a day or more to enjoy their vacation, or have a business trip in Taipei. How do you book one of the best hotels in Taipei, Taiwan? Whether you want a luxury hotel, or a cheap hotel in the city. Hotels in Taipei can be classified into three categories according to price, size, and service.

Deluxe hotels are expensive hotels with a high of service and hospitality. The price range is from USD 250 up to 400 per night. This group of hotels has 400 to 865 guest rooms. The guest rooms have a spacious bedrooms, big bathroom, and a living room area. Some of the deluxe class hotels have a hot spring pool(indoor or outdoor). This kind of hotels have well-designed interiors. This group of hotels is popular for international business guests, tourist and young couples want to get away or stay over the weekend. Generally, this class of hotels has a wide variety of upscale facilities, such as banquet rooms; exhibit halls and spacious ballrooms that can accommodate conventions , business meeting, wedding receptions and other social events. And, this type of hotels has excellent restaurants such as Italian, Janpanese or French insdie the hotels. The best-known examples of this category are Grand Hyatt Taipei and ShangriLa Far Eastern Plaza Hotel Taipei.

In addition to the deluxe hotels, there is another category: standard hotels. Standard hotels are affordable and service is friendly. The prices range from USD 95 up to 150 per night.This class of hotels has approximately 200 guest rooms. The guest rooms are medium size and most of them don't have a living room area. Some of these hotels provide a free breakfast. The primary markets are domestic business guests. They are located in the one of the trendiest spots in Taipei. This class property is near to an abundance of restaurants, shopping places and movie theaters. Basically, this gruop of hotels has a meeting room, a fitness center and some basic event hosting services. Unlike the deluxe hotels, standard hotels only have on restaurant inside the hotels. Delight Hotel and Seasons Hotel are examples of the standart hotel.

And final category of hotels in Taipei is economy hotels. This type of hotels is the cheapest as compared to the deluxe hotels and the standard hotels. The room rates are from USD 40 to 70 per night. This group of hotels has about 65 guest rooms. The bedroom and bathroom is small. Typically, this kind of hotel doesn't have a living room area and the bathrooms only provide a showering room(no tub). The room facilities at economy hotels are enticing for the budgeted local travelers who just want to stay a couple nights to visit their family or friends. Comparison to hte deulxe and standard hotels, htis category of hotels doesn't have a fitness center, swimming pools, spa, hosting area and restaurants on site. Good Ground Hotel Taipei and Lilai Hotel Taipei are good examples of this kind of gorup.

Therefore, there are many kinds of hotels in Taipei, Taiwan. Whether you just get away from home or have a business trip in Taipei. By classifying, we can easily find out which kind of hotel you would stay in Taipei, Tawian.

Kelly Chen

Kokirisword 2 / 4  
Apr 9, 2010   #2
Some of the sentences in your essay is fragmented and doesn't make any sense. For example:

Whether you want a luxury hotel, or a cheap hotel in the city.

The sentence is well...it either shouldn't end there, or be rephrased. Possible fix: You might want a luxury hotel, or a cheap one in the city.

On the transitions, smoothening out your sentence might help in this. Never uses "And" at the beginning of a paragraph either.
Overall, while the idea and organization is nice, the grammar makes it hard to read.
meisj0n 8 / 272 2  
Apr 9, 2010   #3
Hi Kelly,
Welcome to EssayForum

interesting how you don't call Taipei the capital of Taiwan. largest city works very well

There are over 35,000 hotels in Taipei, the largest city in Taiwan. TouristsPeople spend a day or more(in these hotels) to enjoy their vacation in Taipeiwhile others may go for business trips . <transition> How do you book one of the best hotels in Taipei, Taiwan? Whether you want a luxury hotel, or a cheap hotel in the city. Hotels in Taipei can be classified into three categories according to price, size, and service.

I'm not sure how formal this essay has to be, but try not to use YOU. instead, you can use 'How do these visitors book...'

What do you mean by "Whether you want a luxury hotel, or a cheap hotel in the city"? do you mean cheaper* hotels? "Fortunately, hotels in..."

So you need transition help. Where I wrote transition, it's somewhat tough to directly add one in right now because of the next sentence. You could adjust how you write the sentence to make it flow better:

without editing your previous sentence, "business trip in Taipei. In order to book one of the best hotels in Taipei, there are many things to consider. Luxury hotel or something more modest. Fortunately, hotels..." This allows the thought to continue better without adding too much. This rearranging process takes some time, but it works better than just sticking in transition words like however, yet, moreover, etc.

Deluxe hotels are expensive hotels with a high ofquality service and hospitality. The price rangesis from USD 250 up to 400 per night. This group of hotels has 400 to 865 guest rooms. The guest rooms, each withhave a spacious bedrooms, a big bathroom, and a living room area. Some of the deluxe class hotels (even) have a hot spring pool (indoor or outdoor). This kind ofThese hotels have well-designed interiors. This group of hotels isand are popular for international business guests, tourists and young couples who want to get away or stay over for the weekend. Generally, this class of hotels has a wide variety of upscale facilities, <no comma> such as banquet rooms; , <comma> exhibit halls and spacious ballrooms. Thesethat can accommodate conventions, business meeting, wedding receptions and many other social events. And, this type of hotels has excellent restaurants such as Italian, Japanese or French inside the hotels. The best-known examples of this category are the Grand Hyatt Taipei and ShangriLa Far Eastern Plaza Hotel Taipei.

Ok, not much need for transitions within the paragraph, you do that well. However, just a thing about these words: type of, kind of, group of, category of, etc are not that necessary in English. While in Chinese we use these a lot, English is simpler for these articles.

In addition to the more expensive/classy deluxe hotels are the standard hotels. These hotels are more affordable and service is still friendly. The prices range from USD 95 up to 150 per night.This class of hotels has approximately 200 guest rooms. The guest rooms are medium size and most of them don't have a living room area. Some of these hotels <good> provide a free breakfast. The primary markets areis domestic business guests. They are located in the one of the trendiest spots in Taipei. This class property is near to an abundance of restaurants, shopping places and movie theaters. Basically, this group of hotels has a meeting room, a fitness center and some basic event hosting services. Unlike the deluxe hotels, standard hotels only have one restaurant inside the hotels . Delight Hotel and Seasons Hotel are examples of the standard hotel.[/quote]So here you do need some more transitions inside, or just some more complex sentence- combine some shorter sentences to make longer ones. Just change a couple.

And final category of hotels in Taipei is the economy hotels . This type of hotels is the cheapest as compared to the deluxe hotels and the standard hotelsothers . These hotels have about 65 guest rooms that range from USD 40 to 70 per night. The bedroom and bathroom is small. Typically, this kind of hotel <good> doesn't have a living room area and the bathrooms only provide a showering room(no tub). The room facilities at economy hotels are enticing for the budgeted local travelers who just want to stay a couple nights to visit their family or friends. ComparisonCompared to the deluxe and standard hotels, this category of hotels doesn't have a fitness center, swimming pools, spa, hosting area and restaurants on site. Good Ground Hotel Taipei and Lilai Hotel Taipei are good examples of this kind of group .

This paragraph has its good and bad, but its somewhat better than the second. You don't have to repeat yourself too much. You can leave this out: ComparisonCompared to the deluxe and standard hotels, this category of hotels doesn't have a fitness center, swimming pools, spa, hosting area and restaurants on site.

Therefore, there are many kinds of hotels in Taipei, Taiwan. Whether you just get away from home or have a business trip in Taipei. By classifying, we can easily find out which kind of hotel you would stay in Taipei, Tawian.[/quote]So you need help here there most. Because this is a classification essay, there really isn't that much you can talk about, but you can still be creative. "Ultimately, choosing to book at any of these three types of hotels depends on several factors. The increase in price has its higher class amenities, while lowering the cost allows those with tighter budgets to still enjoy their stay. With all the factors considered, it is simply a matter of choice whether to opt for the higher or lower end hotels."

help on transition between paragrahps or others suggestions
So, the overall writing is good. I'm not sure how creative you have to be, but you use the same format in all three paragraphs, which while not so creative, is easy for comparison among the three. Transitions between paragraphs is decent. You can be creative and make comment-like topic sentences for the paragraphs, but that is up to you.

Things to work on: spelling here and there, usage of too many articles :], and some creativity.

~Cheers
OP Kellychen1125 1 / 3  
Apr 10, 2010   #4
Kokirisword
Hi Kiri,
Thank you for suggestions.

Kelly
OP Kellychen1125 1 / 3  
Apr 10, 2010   #5
meisj0n
Jonathan,

Thank you for all corrections and suggestions. Thank you for correcting each one of paragraph.
May I re-send to you after I revise the essay ?

I am not good at essay and very creative on writing...
I got C on my last essay from ESL teacher and that is why I really need a lot help from essayForum. I just want to improve my writing in order to readers can understand what I want to say.

Many thanks,
Kelly Chen
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,334 129  
Apr 12, 2010   #6
interesting how you don't call Taipei the capital of Taiwan. largest city works very well

Well, I was thinking that this is one of those situations where less is more. I would do this:
There are 35,000 hotels in Taipei. the largest city in Taiwan.
A short sentence like this is like a punch to the reader's nose. It captures attention.

Also, when you explain every detail it lulls the reader into a passive state of mind. When you don't explain every detail, the reader's mind will become...

Well, you know what I mean.

Also, I think that last paragraph is too short. You can add one more sentence to mention some benefits the reader can have by choosing the best hotel.

:-)
OP Kellychen1125 1 / 3  
Apr 12, 2010   #7
Thank you for the suggestions, Kevin.

Kelly Chen


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