Understand this isn't a finished draft. I'm just looking for some feedback as to whether or not my essay adheres to the topic well, and if not how I can clarify/edit etc to make sure it does.
I came to the United States in the year 2000, right at the turn of the millennium, with little knowledge of English, how to act with other kids, and cultural traditions. During my first day of kindergarten, I was immediately met with the stare of 20 other classmates as I walked into class 30 minutes late. I spotted an empty seat, and I began to notice the strange looks I received from kids around me. My teacher began her Language Arts lesson after a quick icebreaker and introduction, and as I had feared, I could not grasp the words she was saying as I did not know much English, while those around me nodded their heads in comprehension and understanding. I continued the rest of class attempting to stay unnoticed so I wouldn't have to answer a question, but alas, I was chosen. When I sputtered some incomprehensible English, the class chuckled and then laughed at me. During lunch, my classmates were playing games like four square and wall ball. I joined a game of four square, and when I hit the outside the box, I was ridiculed again in front of everyone at the playground. I went home feeling that I would never be able to adapt to the society around me, and feared going back to school the next day. When I went to bed that night, I wanted to just go back to India and live my old life again, but I knew I could not. Even if I were able to go back to India, it would be quitting and giving into my position in society: an immigrant. I wanted to be something more than an immigrant, and at that point, I was determined to fit in with the other kids and speak English just like them, as well as interact with them in their activities like four square. The next day at school, I strode confidently into the classroom, ignoring the stares from my classmates, and took out my notebook and pencil, ready to learn. I listened carefully to the teacher, noting down how to pronounce words and silently mouthing them, while paying no heed to the snickers and giggles from my surrounding classmates. When the time for lunch came, I sat a table nearby the playground to watch how others played four square, giving the ball some force to direct it and hitting it at an angle to make it spin. Day by day, my speaking skills improved, and I was eliminating the accent that made many of my classmates giggle, but more importantly, I learned to make complete sentences and speak a full conversation in English. However, the more significant breakthrough appeared later in the third week of school. When lunch came, I played four square. The ball was served to me and I spun it back to the fourth place box, knocking him out. Again, the ball was served to be, but I did a hard hit then knocking out the third place box. Finally, it was between me and the first place box; he served to me and I did a quick hit back. To my surprise, he countered with his own forceful hit, but I was able to get him off guard and spun the ball to grant me the honor of the first place box. When I beat him, I looked around and saw smiles, nods of approval and apologies from those who believed they were mean to me. I was inundated with relief as I finally was able to be accepted by my classmates as one them, and not as an immigrant. I'm glad that experienced the differences between my classmates and I because if they had not changed me, then who would have?
I came to the United States in the year 2000, right at the turn of the millennium, with little knowledge of English, how to act with other kids, and cultural traditions. During my first day of kindergarten, I was immediately met with the stare of 20 other classmates as I walked into class 30 minutes late. I spotted an empty seat, and I began to notice the strange looks I received from kids around me. My teacher began her Language Arts lesson after a quick icebreaker and introduction, and as I had feared, I could not grasp the words she was saying as I did not know much English, while those around me nodded their heads in comprehension and understanding. I continued the rest of class attempting to stay unnoticed so I wouldn't have to answer a question, but alas, I was chosen. When I sputtered some incomprehensible English, the class chuckled and then laughed at me. During lunch, my classmates were playing games like four square and wall ball. I joined a game of four square, and when I hit the outside the box, I was ridiculed again in front of everyone at the playground. I went home feeling that I would never be able to adapt to the society around me, and feared going back to school the next day. When I went to bed that night, I wanted to just go back to India and live my old life again, but I knew I could not. Even if I were able to go back to India, it would be quitting and giving into my position in society: an immigrant. I wanted to be something more than an immigrant, and at that point, I was determined to fit in with the other kids and speak English just like them, as well as interact with them in their activities like four square. The next day at school, I strode confidently into the classroom, ignoring the stares from my classmates, and took out my notebook and pencil, ready to learn. I listened carefully to the teacher, noting down how to pronounce words and silently mouthing them, while paying no heed to the snickers and giggles from my surrounding classmates. When the time for lunch came, I sat a table nearby the playground to watch how others played four square, giving the ball some force to direct it and hitting it at an angle to make it spin. Day by day, my speaking skills improved, and I was eliminating the accent that made many of my classmates giggle, but more importantly, I learned to make complete sentences and speak a full conversation in English. However, the more significant breakthrough appeared later in the third week of school. When lunch came, I played four square. The ball was served to me and I spun it back to the fourth place box, knocking him out. Again, the ball was served to be, but I did a hard hit then knocking out the third place box. Finally, it was between me and the first place box; he served to me and I did a quick hit back. To my surprise, he countered with his own forceful hit, but I was able to get him off guard and spun the ball to grant me the honor of the first place box. When I beat him, I looked around and saw smiles, nods of approval and apologies from those who believed they were mean to me. I was inundated with relief as I finally was able to be accepted by my classmates as one them, and not as an immigrant. I'm glad that experienced the differences between my classmates and I because if they had not changed me, then who would have?
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