Canada summer 2018 - Social10. Your reaction to a problem and/or an unfamiliar situation

DESCRIBE AN UNFAMILIAR SITUATION ESSAY

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Hi! Could you please comment and tell me whether this is a good response to the question below? And are there any advanced vocab or sentences that I can use to improve my paragraphs? ( I am not good at writing :( Thanks :)

Explain how you responded to a problem and/or an unfamiliar situation. What did you do, what was the outcome, and what did you learn from the experience?（up to 200）

One of the hardest hurdles that I have ever overcome happened when I first came to Canada in the summer of 2018. At that time, I needed to take Social Studies10 in the summer school. Social 10, which includes history and politics, is hard for a second-language learner like me to understand, and the pace of it was so fast that I could not keep up. However, I did not feel frustrated at all but hoped to challenge myself.

In the subsequent weeks, I explored some effective learning methods: I did not understand those videos played by the teacher, so I watched them repeatedly after school until I could get the main idea. I stayed up late until midnight every day to practice but never got bored. After several days, I could understand almost all the videos even when I first watched them during class. I found my listening skills have improved rapidly.

At the end of the summer school, I got an A in Social10. Since then, I learned the importance of persistence. Furthermore, I realized how important challenging myself was that even if the process was tough, I am willing to face obstacles that make me grow.

In this essay, you mentioned that you explored several learning methods. That means you have to present at least 2 or 3 learning methods that helped you overcome your problem(s) in class. Presenting only one method, which seems to be highly simplistic in my opinion, doesn't really work. Not unless you change the statement to say that you had a problem specifically with the videos being shown in class so you had to repeatedly view the film after class. In truth, the essay is too shallow based on the chosen topic and presentation for it to make a memorable impression on the reviewer. Remember, you are not the only ESL student who will be applying to the university and your chosen theme could be common among the ESL applicants.

Thank you so much for your advice! I really appreciate it. @Holt