Hello
Please i need urgent help. I have applied for a study visa in Canada and now i am just a few steps away from getting it. The embassy replied back and said that i must do my medical, which i did, but here is where i need help. They included in the letter that i must include details concerning the length of my program and the study plan for the long term. this is where i need help. I have written a sample i need your HELP to correct or see errors. if you need more information about the school please tell me. And please i have less than a week to submit.
Below is the sample i wrote:
Dear Sir/Madame,
My name is Mohammed Khanafer and I am 17 years old and I intend to continue my education in Canada in Aviron Technical Institute. This letter I am writing is to indicate the duration of my studies in Canada and my study plan for the long term.
In the case of duration of studies, my program of study will start form 20 August 2013 and end at 30 October 2014, which is approximately 1 year and 2 months, with each course lasting 6 hours per day.
I intend to study Industrial Design in Canada during that 1 year and 2 months, and then come back to my home country, which is The Gambia, and use all the education I got in Aviron Technical Institute to help make my country. And since Gambia is at its early developing stages and soon enough, will start making its own products, the knowledge I gained will help the country in perfecting the products to its maximum so that people can buy it without complaints or problems.
Cheers Khanafer,
Pls. drop 'the' before Gambia. Also, write something about your course in detail such as, a specialization in Consumer Durable Goods Design(my guess?). Relate it to your home land-Gambia and in what way you are going to contribute there. From all these details, they are trying to know your ties with your country and not become a potential immigrant in Canada.
All the best for your visa.
Hello
So the one i wrote is okay? Or should i add some more information? If so could you please tell me what exactly?
I also forgot to add that in Gambia we dont have any goods that we produce. what i mean that here they do not produce hard goods like fans washing machines cars e.t.c they only produce food and liquid stuff. should i emphasize more on this or what?
This letter I am writing is to indicate the duration of my studies in Canada and my study plan for the long term.
This letter is intended to inform you the details of my studies in Canada such as the duration of study and the long term study plan.In the case of duration of studies, my program of study will start form 20 August 2013 and end at 30 October 2014, which is approximately 1 year and 2 months, with each course lasting 6 hours per day.
My study program will commence on the 20 August 2013 and ends on the 30 October 2014, which is approximately one year and two months. (6 hours per day for each course).I intend to study Industrial Design in Canada during that 1 year and 2 months, and then come back to my home country, which is The Gambia, and use all the education I got in Aviron Technical Institute to help make my country.
I hope to major in Industrial Design at the Aviron Technical Institute in Canada and upon completion of the course I would return to my home country, Gambia in hope of making my contribution to my country by utilizing the newly acquired knowledge.Thank you very much Dumi,
Now i need just one more problem to solve. I need a strong opinion on to why i want to come back to gambia
Now i need just one more problem to solve. I need a strong opinion on to why i want to come back to gambia
I doubt that anyone can answer that for you (at least not in a sincere way).
jkjeremy
Okay so far so good.
Now this is part of the re-corrected paragraph. What do you think about it. I appreciate any correction and/or ideas.
"I hope to major in Industrial Design at the Aviron Technical Institute in Canada and upon completion of the course I would return to my home country, Gambia in hope of making my contribution to my country by utilizing the newly acquired knowledge. And since Gambia is at its early developing stage, and soon, will start making its own products, the knowledge I gained will help the country in perfecting the products to its maximum so that people can buy it without complaints or problems. Industrial design is the service of creating and developing of products that optimize the function, appearance and value and systems both mutual benefit, for the manufacturer and the producer."
is the conclusion good or does not match?
That's better.
Would you mind posting the exact words from their letter?
Otherwise I can't be as helpful as I'd like.
Should i add more or its okay? Besides is it convincing enough?
I don't know whether you need to add more because I don't know the exact question they're asking you.
okay no problem this is it
This is in reference to your application for a Canadian study permit.. In order for us to continue the processing of your application, we require the following documents:
-Details concerning the length of your program
-Your study plan for the long term
Please note:
All documents must be accompanied by English or French translations. When original documents are requested, notarised documents are not acceptable.
The above information/documents must be received in our office within 30 days from the date of this letter.Failure to do so could result in the refusal of your application. Please quote your complete application number on your correspondence and address your correspondence to the Canadian Embassy of Senegal in Dakar at the address indicated below.
Thank you for the interest you have shown in Canada.
okay no problem this is it
This is in reference to your application for a Canadian study permit.. In order for us to continue the processing of your application, we require the following documents:
-Details concerning the length of your program
-Your study plan for the long term[/quote]
Got it. I just wanted to make sure that you weren't leaving anything out of your paper.
Should i add more or its okay? Besides is it convincing enough?
I think you have enough, but answer the questions I pose to you below:
I need a strong opinion on to why i want to come back to gambia
Where does it say that this is required?
Also, when is this due?
I'll be back in a few hours to take another look at this.
Where does it say that this is required?
Also, when is this due?
It is not on the paper. The applicant must convince them that he/she is coming back to their home country once they finish there study programs.
This is due in 5 days time, with today almost done i have 4 days left.
It is not on the paper. The applicant must convince them that he/she is coming back to their home country once they finish there study programs.
Thanks for the info.
I'm not sure what time it is where you are, but I will get to this ASAP. I have a couple students to deal with first.
As I wrote earlier, I'll get to your paper within a few hours.
Okay no problem its 9:01 pm here so you can message anytime cause i will be awake all night working on it.
I have a couple students to deal with first.
from what you said up there! are you a teacher?
And thanks very much for the help
from what you said up there! are you a teacher?
I am a private composition instructor.
After more than 25 years in high school and college classrooms, I couldn't stand the system anymore! Watching so much misguided and inadequate teaching was making my career miserable.
The pay is comparable but I can choose my own students and make my own schedule. Life is better.
Sooner or later I'll start a forum similar to his one (although I do enjoy helping kids here when I have spare time).
I sincerely hope that your career (like mine) will be more of an avocation---a passion---than just a job.