Application essay for Cornell College of Arts and Sciences. Please give honest and critical feedback. Be as harsh as necessary. Thanks in advance for all your help!
Prompt: Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study.
When I was nine years old, I single-handedly made one of the greatest scientific breakthroughs in cancer research. Sitting down at the kitchen table, persistently doodling in my trusty "Scientific Ideas" notebook, I discovered mankind's final and greatest weapon against this terrible disease. I called it the "super cell". This color pencil and graphite creation would be bioengineered by our world's greatest scientists. Utilizing grappling hooks that protruded like small cellular hairs from the membrane of the cell, and excreting an enchanting smell to attract the enemy aggressors like a siren, the "super cell" would latch on to bodily cancer invaders and gobble them up whole. I spent days upon days after school gathering empirical data, acquiring Crayola pencils, and designing my cellular hero. After I verified the accuracy and quality of my research with a number of my classmates, I shared my breakthrough with the entire global community, well, my 4th grade class for "show-and-tell". That was still a pretty big deal.
My intellectual interests have grown far beyond their primordial super cell beginnings. As an older child, I would get myself into trouble for staying up hours past my bedtime reading "The Way Things Work" (an illustrated explanatory book about an immense number of engineered wonders) and countless books about human anatomy. In middle school, I indulged my curiosity by joining the Robotics and Science Olympiad clubs. I loved and still love designing and building various contraptions and learning about the world around me. In high school, I joined the Mock Trial team where I found an outlet to use deductive reasoning to win our case, even making it to the regional competition with my team. After learning about the enlightenment philosophers during my junior year of high school, I have taken to reading their writings online and discussing their beliefs with my friends. This passion has developed to the stage where I am reading all the literature I can get my hands on so that I can discuss it with my peers.
Though I have many interests which have grown throughout my life, my favorite passion directly relates to my 4th grade creation, the study of biology. The Cornell College of Arts and Sciences would allow me to pursue a biological sciences major in an environment with many other students with diverse interests. Doing my own research projects and having experienced the "National Youth Leadership Forum", as well as shadowing several cardiologists, I am eager to participate in research opportunities at Cornell. I am captivated by the wonders of biology and have always made a conscientious effort to understand how life works. Even before I took my AP Biology course in high school, I was mesmerized by the subject spending hours poring over my father's medical textbooks and even nailing an anatomically correct heart diagram to the wall of my room. When my class went on a school trip to Boston, many students purchased used novels from the street vendors to read on the way home; I found the solitary Textbook of Medical Physiology and brought that home instead. I love reading Dan Brown, but nothing is more fascinating to me than the cardiovascular system. It is my goal to take the strong biological education I will receive at Cornell and apply myself even more in medical school, eventually to achieve my dream of becoming a cardiologist.
Cornell would give me the sturdy foundation from which I can build toward fulfilling my lifetime goal.
Cornell will provide a thriving intellectual climate and a strong educational program that will nurture my eclectic pursuits and enhance my natural intellectual curiosity. I hope to bring my tenacity, strong aptitude for science and my many diverse interests to the Cornell College of Arts and Sciences.
Prompt: Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study.
When I was nine years old, I single-handedly made one of the greatest scientific breakthroughs in cancer research. Sitting down at the kitchen table, persistently doodling in my trusty "Scientific Ideas" notebook, I discovered mankind's final and greatest weapon against this terrible disease. I called it the "super cell". This color pencil and graphite creation would be bioengineered by our world's greatest scientists. Utilizing grappling hooks that protruded like small cellular hairs from the membrane of the cell, and excreting an enchanting smell to attract the enemy aggressors like a siren, the "super cell" would latch on to bodily cancer invaders and gobble them up whole. I spent days upon days after school gathering empirical data, acquiring Crayola pencils, and designing my cellular hero. After I verified the accuracy and quality of my research with a number of my classmates, I shared my breakthrough with the entire global community, well, my 4th grade class for "show-and-tell". That was still a pretty big deal.
My intellectual interests have grown far beyond their primordial super cell beginnings. As an older child, I would get myself into trouble for staying up hours past my bedtime reading "The Way Things Work" (an illustrated explanatory book about an immense number of engineered wonders) and countless books about human anatomy. In middle school, I indulged my curiosity by joining the Robotics and Science Olympiad clubs. I loved and still love designing and building various contraptions and learning about the world around me. In high school, I joined the Mock Trial team where I found an outlet to use deductive reasoning to win our case, even making it to the regional competition with my team. After learning about the enlightenment philosophers during my junior year of high school, I have taken to reading their writings online and discussing their beliefs with my friends. This passion has developed to the stage where I am reading all the literature I can get my hands on so that I can discuss it with my peers.
Though I have many interests which have grown throughout my life, my favorite passion directly relates to my 4th grade creation, the study of biology. The Cornell College of Arts and Sciences would allow me to pursue a biological sciences major in an environment with many other students with diverse interests. Doing my own research projects and having experienced the "National Youth Leadership Forum", as well as shadowing several cardiologists, I am eager to participate in research opportunities at Cornell. I am captivated by the wonders of biology and have always made a conscientious effort to understand how life works. Even before I took my AP Biology course in high school, I was mesmerized by the subject spending hours poring over my father's medical textbooks and even nailing an anatomically correct heart diagram to the wall of my room. When my class went on a school trip to Boston, many students purchased used novels from the street vendors to read on the way home; I found the solitary Textbook of Medical Physiology and brought that home instead. I love reading Dan Brown, but nothing is more fascinating to me than the cardiovascular system. It is my goal to take the strong biological education I will receive at Cornell and apply myself even more in medical school, eventually to achieve my dream of becoming a cardiologist.
Cornell would give me the sturdy foundation from which I can build toward fulfilling my lifetime goal.
Cornell will provide a thriving intellectual climate and a strong educational program that will nurture my eclectic pursuits and enhance my natural intellectual curiosity. I hope to bring my tenacity, strong aptitude for science and my many diverse interests to the Cornell College of Arts and Sciences.
