Hi guys!
I am from Kazakhstan and I am applying as a first year student. Can you check the grammar, please? Also, I worry that the essay is a bit impersonal. How is "the flow" in general?
Thank you
In the tenth grade, as were all my classmates, I was given the freedom to consider any theme or topic I liked for a personal project. From the start, I thought of it as a chance for me to do something valuable. I realized that I could contribute to the society I was a part of since I was six. This encouraged me to do the best work I could. After a long deliberation, I decided to make my school's coat of arms. A coat of arms, in my case, represents the whole school, its students and faculty, and therefore their attitudes and aspirations. While doing the project, I kept in my mind that this work had the potential to make the school's atmosphere better and unite its students and teachers.
Some think that this would be easy, but in reality, it is a hard science. When I started, I dedicated myself to doing quality research. It was important for me to make the coat of arms appropriately as it would represent the school. I learned about coats of arms, their specifics and rules and their different symbols and meanings. I found out that even the smallest inaccuracy could change the meaning of the work.
I thought a lot about what to include in my work: I realized that I wanted to show that my school is a truly remarkable place. In my country, it differs with most schools in its smaller size, greater amount of personal attention and our unique traditions, such as Self-Guidance Day, when older students become teachers and administrators for the day. My challenge was to capture all this in one picture. What I wanted to show in my project is that children enjoy being at the school--they feel at home there. So, in my work I included shanyrak, a covering part of nomads' home, which is regarded as a symbol of peace, calmness and home. The sprout, which symbolizes growth and development, became another symbol I chose. I also included a book, a symbol of knowledge, as academics are the basis for any school.
I made six different variants of the coat of arms, which I then presented to the whole school and asked which one was the most interesting, engaging, encouraging school's spirit. What they chose became the final project. This involvement was vital to the project as it was conceived for the community since the beginning. The project turned out to be a great success. I took a serious approach, spent a lot of time and this paid off. After my presentation, I could hear people in school discussing it. Students, teachers, administrations and school's staff talked about it with one another.
