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'not just any car' - Stanford - Note To Roomate



joetime2012 1 / -  
Oct 31, 2011   #1
Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better.

I love cars, but not just any car. Tuner cars or custom cars are the types of vehicles that catch my attention and interest me the most. Just the way someone can take a simple and mundane 1994 Nissan 240 SX and transform it into a '0-60 mph in just less than 5 seconds' type of vehicle gets my heart racing (Pun intended), or how they can completely remodel a Toyota Supra to the point of non-recognition, inside and out. I aspire to become an engineer where one day, I will design and create my own vehicles and own a shop where I can let my own imagination run wild. And seeing a tuner car on television, in a magazine, or getting a chance to witness one on the streets, stimulates my brain as to how they conjured up such a unique design and encourages me to foster my own ideas towards my future career. Tuner cars are special. They set themselves apart from the typical cars on the road. They are "work your way up from scratch" types of projects that provide a relieving sense of accomplishment when completed. I just love how even though there may be ten of the same types of vehicles in a showroom, 'under the hood' they are entirely different in a plethora of ways. And if there was one thing that I love the most about tuner vehicles (apart from the way they look and perform) is the sound. The sound of a tuner car resonates with me long after the car has passed by. Tuner cars give us the opportunity to showcase our personality through the vehicle. I don't own one yet but when the time comes, I would love to show you the tuner I can surely call my own.

What do you think?
Grammatical errors?
Help please!

Thanks in advance!

glamport 3 / 3  
Nov 1, 2011   #2
Just the way someone can take a simple and mundane 1994 Nissan 240 SX and transform it into a '0-60 mph in just less than 5 seconds' type of vehicle gets my heart racing (Pun intended), or how they can completely remodel a Toyota Supra to the point of non-recognition, inside and out. I aspire to become an engineer where one day, I will design and create my own vehicles and own a shop where I can let my own imagination run wild.

Rewrite as:
The way someone can take a mundane 1994 Nissan 240 SX and transform it into a '0-60 mph in under 5 seconds' type of vehicle, or completely remodel a Toyota Supra to the point of non-recognition, gets my heart racing - pun intended. I aspire to one day become an engineer and own a shop where i can create my own vehicles, letting my imagination run wild.


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