Please give me feedback on my UC prompt #1. question I have is: did I answer the prompt? how can I shorten it? and is it clear?. Whatever feedback you have is greatly appreciated. Thank you!
Prompt #1-Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how has your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
As I wake from my lethargy, I hear two people arguing. Suddenly, I hear a loud crash that instantly revitalizes me and gives me the adrenaline to rush out to see what has happened. I came out too late and only saw my mom rushing out the door with tears in her eyes and my dad picking up glass pieces. I couldn't recognize the broken object and frankly I didn't care. All I cared about was my mom and where she was going or when she was coming back. I asked my dad what happened, but all he said was "You're too young to understand."
The world I was born into is easier described by what it lacks than by what it encircles. In my world, I do not have quiet loving dinners, peaceful car rides, or even a simple walk in the park, literally. Each moment I had with my parents always ended up with an explosive dispute. Almost each time the reason for their quarrels is on very insignificant matters such as: where to park the car, where to eat, which route to take, etc.
Their consistent quarrels forced me to grow-up and look after myself at an early age. The first milestone of my maturity was when I pointed out the flaws in their marriage during their bitter commotions at the dinner table. It took a lot of courage from me at the age of ten to speak my mind so loudly and freely toward my parents, but I had no choice. I knew how their clash would end, so I offered my opinion to save whatever was left of their marriage. My stance was exhilarating and the affect was paramount. Finding the courage to stand between my towering parents instantly changed me as a person. I unearthed the power of my voice and that moment was forever embedded in my mind.
I live to revive the feelings when I stood-up against my mom and dad, who I thought were untouchable. I am not trying to imply I lost respect for my parents, I mean I gained respect from them. In my dream I see myself as a pacifier who ends conflicts and problems people have. The dream was molded by my parents' constant feuds where I was able to stop problems before they would escalate. That changed me into a person who wants to resolve differences between other people. My goal is to be an arbitrator of some sort where I can satisfy the inner-child in me who hated those arguments that ended in tears.
Word Count: 429
Prompt #1-Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how has your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
As I wake from my lethargy, I hear two people arguing. Suddenly, I hear a loud crash that instantly revitalizes me and gives me the adrenaline to rush out to see what has happened. I came out too late and only saw my mom rushing out the door with tears in her eyes and my dad picking up glass pieces. I couldn't recognize the broken object and frankly I didn't care. All I cared about was my mom and where she was going or when she was coming back. I asked my dad what happened, but all he said was "You're too young to understand."
The world I was born into is easier described by what it lacks than by what it encircles. In my world, I do not have quiet loving dinners, peaceful car rides, or even a simple walk in the park, literally. Each moment I had with my parents always ended up with an explosive dispute. Almost each time the reason for their quarrels is on very insignificant matters such as: where to park the car, where to eat, which route to take, etc.
Their consistent quarrels forced me to grow-up and look after myself at an early age. The first milestone of my maturity was when I pointed out the flaws in their marriage during their bitter commotions at the dinner table. It took a lot of courage from me at the age of ten to speak my mind so loudly and freely toward my parents, but I had no choice. I knew how their clash would end, so I offered my opinion to save whatever was left of their marriage. My stance was exhilarating and the affect was paramount. Finding the courage to stand between my towering parents instantly changed me as a person. I unearthed the power of my voice and that moment was forever embedded in my mind.
I live to revive the feelings when I stood-up against my mom and dad, who I thought were untouchable. I am not trying to imply I lost respect for my parents, I mean I gained respect from them. In my dream I see myself as a pacifier who ends conflicts and problems people have. The dream was molded by my parents' constant feuds where I was able to stop problems before they would escalate. That changed me into a person who wants to resolve differences between other people. My goal is to be an arbitrator of some sort where I can satisfy the inner-child in me who hated those arguments that ended in tears.
Word Count: 429
