Please the deadline to submit this essay is in two day time. Please I need a constructive criticisim in editing this essay.
What are the errors? Does the essay answer the question? What are the cliche and corrections to be made? Thanks in anticipation for editing my essay.
In an essay not longer than one page, describe the skills you would bring to the WAB internship as well as how WAB can contribute to your career path.
My Career Interest and Skills
I was born and raised amongst five siblings, in a poor Christian Family in Aba, Abia State in Nigeria. Growing up in the times of economic hardship, life was not an easy walkway for my family. My parents owned a small retail shop where they sold plastic bags to meet the family's needs. Despite the fact that most poor families in the city where I lived couldn't afford to educate their children, my siblings and I were sent to school and were bred to ingest good moral principles which amount to respecting people, valuing leadership and possessing a life's goal.
I prioritized education at a young age as I realized it was my easiest opportunity to become prolific in life. In high school, I was intrigued by energy, was keen to learn about production facilities and my curiosity to ascertain knowledge influenced me to embark on several research projects and ask questions about scientific inventions. My dedication towards my studies has enabled the discovery of my prospective and passionate career interest - to become an Electrical and Computer Engineer skilled in utilizing scientific principles to design, modify electrical prototypes, test automated facilities and recommend solutions to correct malfunctions and improve efficiency and run time in production systems of client based firms.
Upon high school graduation, my plan to acquire a college education was not realized immediately due to my financial instability. I never felt discouraged but pressed ahead firmly seeking ways to acquire financial support for education. A breakthrough moment was perceived when I came across a testing agency that host International examinations used in securing admissions and scholarships to study abroad. I applied and took the Scholastic Aptitude Examination (SAT) and earned a high score which secured me a Deans Scholarship to study Computer Science and Mathematics at Voorhees College.
I maximized various avenues via my membership in voluntary based organizations at Voorhees College to enhance personal and professional growth. I was the Public Relations Officer of the Voorhees Rotaract Club, an affiliation of Rotary International and implemented several community service based projects. Being the Voorhees College Student in Free Enterprise's Secretary, I implemented a "Save a Child Abroad" project to raise books and stationery that would be utilized in supporting the education of less privileged kids in Nigeria.
Currently a transfer student with a 3.9 CG.P.A studying Physics and Computer Science at Dillard University, I have become a participant in the Louisiana Alliance Minority Program and I been able to conduct scientific projects for publications. I am currently seeking to gain a valuable experience through integrating my skills to solve real and complex technology problems in the environment and to amplify my knowledge on my prospective career, and for accomplishing my intent, I would not hesitate to accept an internship offer from WAB.
In conclusion, hard work, passion, creativity, positive curiosity, and perseverance - the depicted theme are the arts which I would employ during the course of an internship at WAB to reach her goal and also, my personal goals. Through working with skilled professional and cutting edge technology in a fast growing and paced environment at WAB, I would ascertain scientific knowledge, valuable experience and networking opportunities that would empower me to jumpstart my career, nurture and develop a diversified career growth in other specific interests and roles in the technology industry.
What are the errors? Does the essay answer the question? What are the cliche and corrections to be made? Thanks in anticipation for editing my essay.
In an essay not longer than one page, describe the skills you would bring to the WAB internship as well as how WAB can contribute to your career path.
My Career Interest and Skills
I was born and raised amongst five siblings, in a poor Christian Family in Aba, Abia State in Nigeria. Growing up in the times of economic hardship, life was not an easy walkway for my family. My parents owned a small retail shop where they sold plastic bags to meet the family's needs. Despite the fact that most poor families in the city where I lived couldn't afford to educate their children, my siblings and I were sent to school and were bred to ingest good moral principles which amount to respecting people, valuing leadership and possessing a life's goal.
I prioritized education at a young age as I realized it was my easiest opportunity to become prolific in life. In high school, I was intrigued by energy, was keen to learn about production facilities and my curiosity to ascertain knowledge influenced me to embark on several research projects and ask questions about scientific inventions. My dedication towards my studies has enabled the discovery of my prospective and passionate career interest - to become an Electrical and Computer Engineer skilled in utilizing scientific principles to design, modify electrical prototypes, test automated facilities and recommend solutions to correct malfunctions and improve efficiency and run time in production systems of client based firms.
Upon high school graduation, my plan to acquire a college education was not realized immediately due to my financial instability. I never felt discouraged but pressed ahead firmly seeking ways to acquire financial support for education. A breakthrough moment was perceived when I came across a testing agency that host International examinations used in securing admissions and scholarships to study abroad. I applied and took the Scholastic Aptitude Examination (SAT) and earned a high score which secured me a Deans Scholarship to study Computer Science and Mathematics at Voorhees College.
I maximized various avenues via my membership in voluntary based organizations at Voorhees College to enhance personal and professional growth. I was the Public Relations Officer of the Voorhees Rotaract Club, an affiliation of Rotary International and implemented several community service based projects. Being the Voorhees College Student in Free Enterprise's Secretary, I implemented a "Save a Child Abroad" project to raise books and stationery that would be utilized in supporting the education of less privileged kids in Nigeria.
Currently a transfer student with a 3.9 CG.P.A studying Physics and Computer Science at Dillard University, I have become a participant in the Louisiana Alliance Minority Program and I been able to conduct scientific projects for publications. I am currently seeking to gain a valuable experience through integrating my skills to solve real and complex technology problems in the environment and to amplify my knowledge on my prospective career, and for accomplishing my intent, I would not hesitate to accept an internship offer from WAB.
In conclusion, hard work, passion, creativity, positive curiosity, and perseverance - the depicted theme are the arts which I would employ during the course of an internship at WAB to reach her goal and also, my personal goals. Through working with skilled professional and cutting edge technology in a fast growing and paced environment at WAB, I would ascertain scientific knowledge, valuable experience and networking opportunities that would empower me to jumpstart my career, nurture and develop a diversified career growth in other specific interests and roles in the technology industry.