"the career of Interior Design" - AI Application- expectation of your education

ScarleyKen 1 / 1

Mar 4, 2011 #1

Please give me feedback be harsh if you have to..I need it to sound good!
The Essay question is How do you expect your education at The Art Institute of California-San Diego to help you attain your career goals?

Art is all around us whether we see it hung up in an art gallery or have it in the space of our own homes. I've always been creative and just loved everything that had to do with design. Although as a young girl I never knew what I really wanted to do until about a year ago. During my junior year of high school, I found my passion and knew at that instant what I wanted to do in life.

Rearranging my room was always something I enjoyed doing I never realized it was going to be my passion in life until a about a year ago when I helped my mom build a new bathroom at my grandmother's house. I helped decide every step of the way from where it was going to be all the way to the design of the bathroom to choosing colors and tiles. I enjoyed doing this every step of the way. Helping build the bathroom wasn't a chore nor a job it was life for me. It was something I enjoyed doing everyday and looked forward to after school.

I know that The Art Institute of California- San Diego can give me the tools I need to excel in the career of Interior Design. With the hands on education and professional teachings I know it will give me what I need to do great as an Interior Designer. It will give me everything I need to be successful and start my own business in interior design. The Art Institute of California- San Diego is where I want to be.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13053

Mar 7, 2011 #2

During my junior year of high school, I found my passion and knew at that instant what I wanted to do in life.

This sentence is a little redundant because of the sentence that comes before it.

You have something like 12 sentences in this essay, and the only sentence that answers the prompt is the first sentence of the last paragraph... and that sentence does not even answer the prompt very well! So... even though you write very well, I want to encourage you to take out that irrelevant middle paragraph and start over with a focus on several specific goals. They want to know about your goals. There should be several.

:-)

And that is only half of it! After telling the goals, show that you chose this school because of specific qualities it has that relate to your goals.