I was writing a personal statement for UC prompt #1 :D can you guys leave me a feedback please? thank you
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
After I got into 3rd year of my high school, it was quiet set for me that I want my career to be a pharmacist. Aspiration for my life was to be like a completed puzzle, where there are no missing parts and everything fits perfectly. I thought and still think becoming a pharmacist is a best option for my career in order for my life to become a perfect puzzle where I can fulfill all my necessity. But I can't say I made decisions all by myself. There was always a person, or a whole community that shaped my aspirations and dreams.
Back in Korea, I always considered myself as a miserable kid. When I became a first grader in elementary school, my father's company filed for bankruptcy and few months later, my mother left us without saying a word. People may think eating a dinner in candlelight is romantic, but our family had to eat dinner in candlelight because our electricity was cut off. There was neither electricity nor water. I blamed myself for my father's bankruptcy and my mother leaving us. As I grow older, and even though my life got better, I was got pitiful looks from friends, teachers, and other people around me. That's the time where I decided to live a life with perfect family, job, and everything else. I kept telling myself "I would never forgive myself if I continue this life of misery."
Then I came to America, a land of opportunity. This is where I transformed myself from being a shy child into more expressive teenager. Back in Korea, I lived in a community of collectivism. I had to be careful of what I say, what I wear, and what I do, because what I do wrong would disgrace my whole family and school. But in America, people were more of individualists than collectivists. I slowly learned to become more outgoing and optimistic. I went to two Japanese speech competitions in my high school year which made me feel more comfortable speaking in front of a large audience. I still can remember I nervous I was when I first did my speech in front of a large audience. I was no longer a kid who was scared to be called out in the presentation time. I realized that if I don't express myself, there is no one who would know who I really am.
After I got into high school, I met my aunty, who was also taking the path of becoming a pharmacist. My first dream of becoming a pharmacist started from respect toward my aunty. She had many similarities with me, such as her parent's divorce and her environments, yet she was so optimistic and adventurous. She was my first role model and great influence of my career choice. As I searched through what pharmacists do and what I need to do in order to become a pharmacist, I realized that this was the job I was looking for. I thought this job would satisfy my necessities and fulfill my life time goal, to have a happy life.
Taking chemistry in my sophomore year has also shaped my dream of becoming a pharmacist. Starting from middle school, I concentrated on studying and getting good grades because I considered them as a step toward satisfying life. I got out of ESL (English Second Language) after a year and everybody called me a "smart girl". But in chemistry, I was devastated. I couldn't understand anything at all. There were too many elements to memorize and all the formulas and laws confused me a lot. It was most challenging subjects of my entire school life. I was worried because chemistry was very important for pharmacists. But I couldn't let myself give up. I studied double hard for this subject and every time I didn't understand certain things, I seek for help. After that, my grade started to rise and in the end, I received an A. I am currently taking AP chemistry and getting decent grades. I am very proud that I didn't give up my dream after taking chemistry and challenged myself to get into higher level of chemistry, which is AP chemistry.
To describe my life in two words, I would say "Rocky road". I had many obstacles in my life and it wasn't a paved pathway at all. But because I experienced hardship earlier in my life, I discovered my true dream earlier as well.
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
After I got into 3rd year of my high school, it was quiet set for me that I want my career to be a pharmacist. Aspiration for my life was to be like a completed puzzle, where there are no missing parts and everything fits perfectly. I thought and still think becoming a pharmacist is a best option for my career in order for my life to become a perfect puzzle where I can fulfill all my necessity. But I can't say I made decisions all by myself. There was always a person, or a whole community that shaped my aspirations and dreams.
Back in Korea, I always considered myself as a miserable kid. When I became a first grader in elementary school, my father's company filed for bankruptcy and few months later, my mother left us without saying a word. People may think eating a dinner in candlelight is romantic, but our family had to eat dinner in candlelight because our electricity was cut off. There was neither electricity nor water. I blamed myself for my father's bankruptcy and my mother leaving us. As I grow older, and even though my life got better, I was got pitiful looks from friends, teachers, and other people around me. That's the time where I decided to live a life with perfect family, job, and everything else. I kept telling myself "I would never forgive myself if I continue this life of misery."
Then I came to America, a land of opportunity. This is where I transformed myself from being a shy child into more expressive teenager. Back in Korea, I lived in a community of collectivism. I had to be careful of what I say, what I wear, and what I do, because what I do wrong would disgrace my whole family and school. But in America, people were more of individualists than collectivists. I slowly learned to become more outgoing and optimistic. I went to two Japanese speech competitions in my high school year which made me feel more comfortable speaking in front of a large audience. I still can remember I nervous I was when I first did my speech in front of a large audience. I was no longer a kid who was scared to be called out in the presentation time. I realized that if I don't express myself, there is no one who would know who I really am.
After I got into high school, I met my aunty, who was also taking the path of becoming a pharmacist. My first dream of becoming a pharmacist started from respect toward my aunty. She had many similarities with me, such as her parent's divorce and her environments, yet she was so optimistic and adventurous. She was my first role model and great influence of my career choice. As I searched through what pharmacists do and what I need to do in order to become a pharmacist, I realized that this was the job I was looking for. I thought this job would satisfy my necessities and fulfill my life time goal, to have a happy life.
Taking chemistry in my sophomore year has also shaped my dream of becoming a pharmacist. Starting from middle school, I concentrated on studying and getting good grades because I considered them as a step toward satisfying life. I got out of ESL (English Second Language) after a year and everybody called me a "smart girl". But in chemistry, I was devastated. I couldn't understand anything at all. There were too many elements to memorize and all the formulas and laws confused me a lot. It was most challenging subjects of my entire school life. I was worried because chemistry was very important for pharmacists. But I couldn't let myself give up. I studied double hard for this subject and every time I didn't understand certain things, I seek for help. After that, my grade started to rise and in the end, I received an A. I am currently taking AP chemistry and getting decent grades. I am very proud that I didn't give up my dream after taking chemistry and challenged myself to get into higher level of chemistry, which is AP chemistry.
To describe my life in two words, I would say "Rocky road". I had many obstacles in my life and it wasn't a paved pathway at all. But because I experienced hardship earlier in my life, I discovered my true dream earlier as well.